the tired mothers holiday creed

For the days we are running on empty. For the days we just don’t think we have it in us to pick up one more load of groceries, read one more story, play one more game of Monopoly, wash one more round of sheets. For the days when we think everyone else has it altogether. For the days we’re sure anyone else would do this job better. Host this family more calmly. Have a house more presentable.

For those days. For those holidays. You know the ones.

http://lisajobaker.com/2013/11/the-tired-mothers-holiday-creed/

Repeat after me:

1. I shall not wait for my house or my life to be perfect before inviting someone in.
2. I shall remember that big hospitality has nothing to do with the size of my house.
3. I shall not judge my house, my Holidays or my gift wrapping skills by Pinterest’s standards.
4. I shall tell myself that no one ever did actually die of embarrassment from a small or messy space. And that missing out on community is a much worse kind of dying.
5. I shall not compare myself to others’ traditions, decor or gifts, but find my identity in the God who came to *be* the gift to me.
6. I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly off key carols.
7. I shall accept that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
8. I shall remember that guests will only feel as comfortable in my home as I feel in my own skin.
9. I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
10. I shall remember that there’s no shame in paper plates if they’re heaped high with delight in each others’ company.
11. I shall give my friends the gift of comparison-free friendship.
12. I shall pause between preparations to savor the celebrations.
13. I shall remember that hospitality is about opening the door, not about how fancy the furniture, decor or dishes. 
14. I shall treat my family with the same grace I offer my guests.
15. I shall treat myself with the same grace I offer everyone else.
16. I shall leave the dishes and lean into the conversations.
17. I shall not focus on fear of appearances but on fully opening my arms to my friends and family.
18. I shall not be intimidated by how the holidays, the turkey, the tree or the memories “should” be celebrated but love the people I’m celebrating with instead.
19. I shall welcome my kids into the decorations, preparations, and celebrations.
20. I shall remember that I want you here. Whether I’m perfectly ready or not. Just the way you are. Which will likely mean most days, I must open the door just the way I am too.

~ with love from one tired, happy mother to another.

- See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/11/the-tired-mothers-holiday-creed/#sthash.HBvwzUec.dpuf

The (real life) dictionary definition of Mother | by Lisa Jo Baker

I couldn't help but feel like every word of her post could have been written by me.  So I'm copy/pasting it here for safekeeping.  I want these words to light up my memories like fireworks when I'm an old lady, reading back on my blog book.  Lisa Jo's post is here.   You really should read her blog.   Amazing stuff.  I tear up reading most of her posts.

I am stretched and tired and fearful.

I am wild and brave and broken.
My closet has a sense of humor and clothes in every size.

I’ve worn these hips three times around the labor and delivery dance and they are not ashamed. I speak three languages and that doesn’t include my ability to translate my middle son’s moods.

I have danced circles into the midnight carpet on two continents.

I have rocked restless babes, cut baby curls, snipped fingernails and served a thousand thousand bowls of Cheerios.

I can build a blanket fort, pry splinters out of fingers, and sharp words out of young hearts.

I have lost it, yelled it, fought it, cried it and apologized it all before 9am.

I have fingerpainted, caffeinated, and run out of explanations for a line of why questions that stretches around the living room, out the front door and around the block.

I have tripped on Legos, stepped on scooters, slept on bottom bunks, and strung yards of white, twinkling lights above the heads of two brothers afraid of the dark and their bad dreams.

I have been woken up, shaken up, thrown up, loved up, and shut up. I have never quite, completely, ever given up.

Love sleeps in my bed. Curiosity eats at my table. Delight runs laps around my back yard. Exhaustion is a faithful friend. But so is grace.

If I started tonight and counted backwards all the gifts of the past seven years of two boys and this still-smells-new baby girl I would still be counting when their grandchildren were standing tippy toes with noses pressed against these smudged windows.

So I count dimples instead.

And piles of stray socks and jeans with knees missing and shoes that only fit for a few months and hair cuts and loose teeth and how many times I look at them and say with the disbelief of the proud, “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown!”

I am overwhelmed, infatuated, love struck and completely unhinged. Especially on the nights they bring in wild flowers and all the ever-loving mud in the world.

I am full and fulfilled.
I am older and comfortable in my skin.
I am about the work of raising tiny humans.
I am out of my mind and in my calling and desperate for five minutes alone and a lifetime together.

I see cherry blossom fireworks when two brothers enter school and friendship and new worlds together. Right there, just an outdoor, black top, basketball court away from me.

I want to stop time, tame my fears, bottle their dreams, live a hundred summers of dripping, sticky, caramel ice cream. And in between I hang onto my faith, my temper, and my sense of humor with my fingernails.

These are the good days, the glory days, the slow-as-molasses days. These are the fast years, the wonder years, the how-do-I-find-words years.

But we do. They usually start with “help” and end with “thank you” and the middle?

The middle is a thick layer of one syllable wonder sometimes whispered, often shouted, always answered.

The middle is me. The middle is you. The middle is just, “mom.”

The Tired Mother's Creed

by Lisa Jo Baker (read her post here- with a free printable)

Repeat after me:

1. I shall not judge my house, my kid’s summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest’s standards.
2. I shall not measure what I’ve accomplished today by the loads of unfolded laundry but by the assurance of deep love I’ve tickled into my kids
3. I shall say “yes” to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we’re building.
4. I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they’re already in their pajamas.
5. I shall not compare myself to other mothers, but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.
6. I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
7. I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.
8. I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.
9. I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
10. I shall promise to love this body that bore these three children – out loud, especially in front of my daughter.
11. I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.
12. I shall do my best to admit to my people my “unfine” moments.
13. I shall say “sorry” when sorry is necessary.
14. I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children’s forgiveness.
15. I shall make space in my grown up world for goofball moments with my kids.
16. I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.
17. I shall model kind words – to kids and grown-ups alike.
18. I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan – this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.
19. I shall always make time to encourage new moms.
20. I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they’ll all be in college.

~ with love from one tired mother to another.

The post that resonates in my mind....

A few years ago, I'd read a post that Tara Whitney wrote on her blog.   At the time, I had a 4 and 2 year old and was very much the mom with goldfish crackers and sippy cups and a tantruming toddler.  Still, the post struck a heartstring.  I envisioned the sadness she felt, the shifting identity, the changing phase. It felt light years away, but still I knew when the time came, when I was in the same shoes as her, I would have feelings of sadness and anxiety.  Sorrow for the years that passed to quickly.   I still have little ones, but the mark of Amelia's first birthday only solidifies that time will not stand still for my anxiety and fears.  Her baby stages are flying by without pause, and there is nothing I can do to slow it down, other than to stop and savor as much as I can.   I went back and read Tara's post, and thought I should share here as well.   Bittersweet.... watching my sweet babies grow up into little people... life getting so much easier in so many ways, but harder in others... yet longing for the days when their chubby hands hold your finger tightly, their sticky faces kiss yours with a sloppy kiss, and they curl up and fit in your lap.  

Tara's Post:

"The other night as I was making dinner, it hit me hard that I am now in the phase of mothering that I always dreamed about when I was at home with three children under the age of three. The phase where there is some independence. The phase that is way way way past diapers and potty training and temper tantrums in the grocery store. The phase where my middle school aged son helps my elementary aged daughter with her math homework while I make dinner. It is a brave new world here in this phase. I spent ten plus years with toddlers and babies. The entire decade of my 20′s, and some of my 30′s. I still get shocked with how fast time is passing. I still get shocked at how big they are. How adult they are becoming. Yet I feel like I am in my motherhood prime. I ache to go back in time and hold them as newborns again. To smell their toddler necks and experience their toddler voices. But I was exhausted or drained or depressed for most of that time, if I am going to be perfectly honest. I think I had them too fast, I was stretched too thin. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing, but that is the truth of the matter. I loved them just as fiercely then as I do now…but it was a harder time for me personally as a mother. 

At the same time, it is such a huge huge part of my identity – being the mother of four young children. And now that I am no longer that, my identity is shifting and I haven’t quite caught up. I still feel a part of that “group”. The one at the park after naptime. The one with goldfish crackers and sippy cups falling out of the stroller. The one walking a toddler down the hall to avoid a tantrum at the post office. And it is SO BIZARRE that I am just not there anymore. I miss it, even knowing how hard it was for me. 

I did my best, and I think my best was enough. I hope it was. If who they are today is any indication, it was enough. Thankfully, gratefully. I can now REALLYsee how tender and special that millisecond of time was, and it makes me want to hold onto this time all the more, because I know our next phase is speeding down the runway, arriving at the gate soon as a house full of teenagers. And then, lickity split, take off into a life of their own. 

So here I am, looking back on a lot of memories with a lot of fondness. Recalling who they were then and feeling very full in all that we have experienced together. 

Here I am, learning about who they are now and leading them down the best path that I can. Loving who they are becoming. 

Here I am, looking forward into the future, with great hopes regarding our safety and health, and a lot of excitement over what is to come. 

xo,
Tara"

Trust. Thankfulness.

Today has had so many blessings for me... I felt like I needed to glorify that with a blog post.  I'm thankful, so thankful.

This winter has been rough.  I won't lie.  I headed into fall with ambition and bright hopes for a booming business, and smooth sailing with this new venture.  It has been far from it.

I feel stagnant right now.   We're in the midst of winter.  The fall rush is gone, holidays are over and spring is on the horizon but right now... I'm stagnant.

I woke up this morning and a friend had posted on her blog something I so needed to read.  I'm going to paste it here for my personal safekeeping, but please please check out Kristin's blog... she's a fabulous writer and you just need to check her out.   I know her words probably mean something totally different to her, but I love how I could interpret them for myself as well.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.  Most of which has to deal with direction; anxiety associated with the unknown paths that lie ahead.  I’m trying to remind myself of all that I’ve learned along the way:

• I can’t predict the future: I need to relax on the corner, until my  gut tells me it’s time to cross the street.

• I must trust my instincts: I’ve never let fear guide my decisions before; why start now?

• I’ve already succeeded: I’ll remember this when I get bumped by failure.

• My reactions affect my entire family: As long as I set a positive tone, the kids will adjust to the ride accordingly.

•  I’m wasting my time spinning the wheels with worry: I can’t predict the future.

All of the above is true.  But, one directive leads to another.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Thus, the anxiety. 

So, I have no choice but to travel the route that always gets me to my destination safely.  When I follow the avenue of patience, it takes me right to faith.  In the end, it will all work out.  And it will be an exciting adventure along the way.

This afternoon I have had blessing after blessing fall into my lap to get me over this "hump" this week.   Sure, I never envisioned I'd be a college grad, bachelor degree holding "artist" taking on freelance work to cover bills.  Did I ever picture myself at 31 fretting over bills and how to make ends meet this week?  Hell no.   But here I am.  And I know I'll pull through.  I know this is just a bump in the road.  The start of this journey.  I must persevere.  I can't predict the future.  I can't stress about what lies ahead.  I just need to trudge on, trust my gut.  Cross this street and keep on going until I end up where I know I'm supposed to be.  Where I know I'm meant to be.   

"I have no choice but to travel the route that always gets me to my destination safely.  When I follow the avenue of patience, it takes me right to faith.  In the end, it will all work out.  And it will be an exciting adventure along the way."

Blessed is how I'm feeling today.  Blessed with the God-given talents that I'm being pushed to use.  Blessed I have this option.  Blessed to be home with my babies, with them by my side as I work.  Blessed to be able to help others.  Blessed.  Truly blessed.

Scary Mommy Manifesto

Another great Mommy-Blog-Post.... one that really got me thinking and reflecting about the judgement in the Mommy World, and reflecting on my mis-judgement

THE SCARY MOMMY MANIFESTO

Please repeat after me:

• I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood, for without it, I recognize that I may end up institutionalized. Or, at the very least, completely miserable.

Oh a sense of humor... this is something I've had to develop very early on.  Porter was....is... a handful.  He has debunked every parenting philosophy I've ever had and humbled me to the core.  The situations he's brought to this house could only leave us laughing, as doing anything else would only drive us further crazy. 

• I shall not judge the mother in the grocery store who, upon entering, hits the candy aisle and doles out M&Ms to her screaming toddler. It is simply a survival mechanism.

• I shall not compete with the mother who effortlessly bakes from scratch, purees her own baby food, or fashions breathtaking costumes from tissue paper. Motherhood is not a competition. The only ones who lose are the ones who race the fastest.

Pinterest brings out the best and the worst in moms.  Great moms end up feeling insufficient in the wake of Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart, and it really shouldn't be that way.  None of us have it "all together" no matter how much it may seem we do.  I promise.  

• I shall shoot the parents of the screaming newborn on the airplane looks of compassion rather than resentment. I am fortunate to be able to ditch the kid upon landing. They, however, are not.

I've been there... the parent of the screaming toddler on the airplane, with nowhere else to go but pray that the door opens up 10,000 feet in the air and sucks you out.  It sucks.  Literally.  Thank God for compassionate people. 

• I shall never ask any woman whether she is, in fact, expecting. Ever.

Porter had a nurse at Motts and I swear to goodness she was pregnant... but I did not make one mention to it.   No way.   Too risky!  Besides, I could pass off as a preggo lately anyhow!

• I shall not question the mother who is wearing the same yoga pants, flip-flops and t-shirt she wore to school pickup the day before. She has good reason.

Even if the only good reason is that she is lazy and is "only leaving the house to pick up kids" because .. that is so me.  Only, I usually have pajama pants on (from the wrong season) and baby food, snot and spit up on my shirt.  

• I shall never claim to know everything about any child but my own. (Who still remain a mystery to me.)

This could not be any more truer than it states.  Every stinkin' child is so different... has different likes, wants, needs, preferences... and my own 3 leave me baffled on a daily basis.  If I can't figure out my own kids, what makes me think I could figure out someone else's? 

• I shall hold the new babies belonging to friends and family, so they may shower and nap, which is all any new mother really wants.

• I shall attempt to not pass down my own messed up body issues to my daughter. She deserves a mother who loves and respects herself; stretch marks, cellulite and all.

This will be a hard one for me.  I'm not happy with my body.  I probably make comments I shouldn't make about myself.  It is definitely something I need to change.  I want my children (not just daughter!) to love and respect their bodies for who they are.  I want them to know that the person inside is what counts... not how they look on the outside. 

• I shall not preach the benefits of breastfeeding or circumcision or home schooling or organic food or co-sleeping or crying it out to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.

Amen is all I have to say.  What works for one mom/family may not work for the next.  Regardless, your kid will grow up just fine.  I highly doubt they'll be sleeping with you as a high schooler, dumb and sickly because you formula fed, emotionally scarred because you let them cry it out.  It's all relavant. 

• I shall try my hardest to never say never, for I just may end up with a loud-mouthed, bikini clad, water gun shooting toddler of my very own.

Ohhh another one of those debunked philosophy.   When Porter was little I was so anti-play-gun in our house.   Couldn't stand the thought of a toddler/preschooler playing with guns.  But whenever we went to friends' houses that had play guns... what did my kid run straight for? The play guns.   He's like a magnet to them.  And now?  He loves nerf guns, play rifles, pistols and bb guns (all pretend/play toys).  On his Christmas list this year?  A real shotgun and a real pistol.  Right.   His newest phrase when something cool happens?  "Shotgun!"  (whaaat??)  Yes, I never wanted my kids to like guns, to play with guns or have toy guns.  But we have them all over the house.  

• I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me.

I hope....

The other day I came across a post on FB that led to this blog post by Kara Baskin.    It really got me thinking about parenting, motherhood, patience, and setting examples.  Sometimes it just takes some simple words, eloquently said, to really make you analyze yourself.   Many of these things I really try to instill in the boys (and in the future, Amelia), but I know I can do better... set better examples.   Some of these things will be very difficult to teach and instill because of their personality, but I can still try.  

Kara's post was in reference to Time Magazine's "Extreme Parenting article" about extended breastfeeding, which is the reference in the last paragraph)

"I hope I raise a child who says “thank you” to the bus driver when he gets off the bus, “please” to the waiter taking his order at the restaurant, and holds the elevator doors when someone’s rushing to get in.

I hope I raise a child who loses graciously and wins without bragging. I hope he learns that disappointments are fleeting and so are triumphs, and if he comes home at night to people who love him, neither one matter. Nobody is keeping score, except sometimes on Facebook.

I hope I raise a child who is kind to old people.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that life is unfair: Some people are born rich or gorgeous. Some people really are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people luck into jobs or wealth that they don’t earn. Tough.

I hope I raise a child who gets what he wants just often enough to keep him optimistic but not enough to make him spoiled.

I hope I raise a child who knows that he’s loved and special but that he’s not the center of the universe and never, ever will be.

I hope I raise a child who will stick up for a kid who’s being bullied on the playground. I also hope I raise a child who, if he’s the one being bullied, fights back. Hard. Oh, and if he’s the bully? I hope he realizes that his mother, who once wore brown plastic glasses and read the phonebook on the school bus, will cause him more pain than a bully ever could.

I hope I raise a child who relishes life’s tiny pleasures—whether it’s a piece of music, or the color of a gorgeous flower, or Chinese takeout on a rainy Sunday night.

I hope I raise a child who is open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.

I hope I raise a child who doesn’t need to affirm his self-worth through bigotry, snobbery, 

materialism, or violence.

I hope I raise a child who likes to read.

I hope I raise a child who is courageous when sick and grateful when healthy.

I hope I raise a child who begins and ends all relationships straightforwardly and honorably.

I hope I raise a child who can spot superficiality and artifice from a mile away and spends his time with people and things that feel authentic to him.

I hope I raise a child who makes quality friends and keeps them.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that his parents are flawed but loves them anyway.

And I hope that if my child turns out to be a colossal screw-up, I take it in stride. I hope I remember that he’s his own person, and there’s only so much I can do. He is not an appendage to be dangled from my breasts on the cover of a magazine, his success is not my ego’s accessory, and I am not Super Mom.

I hope for all of these things, but I know this: None of these wishes has a thing to do with how I feed him or sleep-train him or god-knows-what-else him. Which is how I know that these fabricated “wars” are phony every step of the way. I do not need the expensive stroller. I do not need to go into mourning if my "sleep-training method" is actually a "prayer ritual" that involves tiptoeing around the house in the dark. This is not a test. It’s a game called Extreme Parenting, and you can’t lose if you don’t play. And, really, why would you play? You have children to raise."

Just Saying. Bloggy shout out!

A friend of mine (well, actually a friend of Jane's, who became my client and in time someone I call my friend!) has picked back up on blogging.  She's a fabulous writer.  Much deeper thoughts that I have had as of late (what is up with that?!?  I swear I feel like all I do is reiterate the events in our life... which is great to document but man, I so want to dig deep!!).

Anyhow... check out Kristin's blog.... Just Saying.   (and here is her page on Facebook!) You'll love it, I'm positive!

Goin' to the Big D and don't mean Dallas...

No no no... not me.  But my word it seems like everyone and their brother are getting divorced!!   Ok, so really not many people I know personally, but there are SO many bloggers that I'm just shocked over.  It makes me so sad.  And while I know I don't know them personally, I don't know their marriages firsthand (or even secondhand or well, at ALL) but just to grow to love these women- to relate to them and to feel like they would/could be your friend- and then to hear they're going through this tragic situation.  I sometimes feel like nothing is safe... no one's marriage is safe from the big D.  People who I feel like had a great marriage, or who overcame so many obstacles to get to this harmonious (or so it seems) point in life only for it all to unravel.

A few months ago I visited some big name bloggers that I used to worship...err... follow.  Ali Edwards.  Heather Armstrong. Leta from The Cheeky Lotus and Jen Weintribe, a fabulous photographer whom I followed through her adoption story 4 years ago.   And my jaw dropped and heart skipped a beat to read that they were either separated or divorced.  And then just today I found two more well loved bloggers.... Glennon and Melissa (SuburbanBliss)... were either newly separated or divorced.   So so so so sad to me!!  It pains me to think about the shattered fairytale that they're living right now.  I can't imagine.  It just makes me want to scream "IS NO ONE SAFE FROM DIVORCE??"

I can't sit back and judge and I won't, because I don't know the details.  The specifics.  I don't know their hearts and their minds and I don't know their relationships.  But I think to myself, I can't imagine getting to the point where I hated, despised, didn't love, Ryan to the point of wanting out... to the point of not wanting to fix things.  I just can't envision it.  And while I do agree there are situations that warrant a divorce, point blank, (abuse- physical or emotional, unwillingness of the other spouse to fix things etc) I just feel like (or it seems to me) that the white flag is waved prematurely without a fight.  (Like I said... I'm not saying this is true because I have NO idea inside these lives, but from the outside it just makes me feel like it happens all so easily.  I know it doesn't.  I know things build up to that breaking point in most cases.)

My heart hurts for these women that I've felt a connection with (though they have no idea who I am HA!).  I wish and hope and pray they resolve things and come back together with their spouses.  Although I suppose in some cases they're better off apart and should that be the case I pray they find their happy ever after.

Hump Day Ramblings

• SO SO beautiful out today- mid 70's and sunshine! 


• I surprised Porter and picked him up from school and took him to Dairy Queen.  He got a slushy/ice cream float.  Hmm.   We took our goodies to the park and threw rocks in the stream and ate our ice cream. 


• On the way home from work today I heard THE perfect song for baby sis' birth slideshow.  I am in love. 

• This warm weather is amazing, but I so pity women who are preggers in the summer.  I've been swelling up in the evenings the past few weeks, but today at work my feet were like sausages and my hands were all puffy.  Didn't help that the heat is still on at school and our classroom was easily 80*.  ICK!  


• I've decided to take a semi-leave from Facebook.  I'm going to take a break from posting, but will still check occasionally to keep up on friends/family etc.  I want to try to retrain myself to choose Blogger to post on vs. sending a blip to Facebook.   But, I don't want to withdraw completely from FB as it definitely has a time/place in life today.  I just need to refocus my priorities. 


• Do you know who Rev Run is (you know, from Run D.M.C)?  Oh I am so addicted to his "words of widsom".  Love it.  I've been posting them on Facebook (see... again... dissing the blog!) and wanted to write them down here as well.  
• The Lord will make perfect that which concerns me. Psalms 138:8. 
• Solid plan to have a stress free life: Do your best and forget the rest. 
• Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect, it just means you've decided to look beyond life's imperfections.
• Remember:: The Law of Gods Grace is: When you are down to nothing, Gods up to something!!
• You lessen your blessin when you compare what you have to others. 


• Denise is currently doing a "30 Days of 30" blog posting (the idea started with Lindsay ).  I was bummed I didn't start this in December and document my first 30 Days of 30, but decided... hey, why not start it now?  So, I think I'll be working on those kind of posts for the next 30 days.  Hopefully I can stick with it!


• I've got a couple designs done for baby sis' birth announcement... love all of them so now the hard part is deciding which one to use!  Still no name for this little girl.  I think *I* am down to 3 names... though Ryan is pretty stuck on one in particular.  Her nursery is pretty much done- just need to quilt/bind the quilt, fill in a few frames with artwork/pics on the wall, recover the glider cushions and make a changing pad cover.  I am in love with how her room has turned out.  It is so much better than I ever envisioned!


• My grad class is ALMOST done.  I'm in week 7 and next week is the last week!  I'm behind 2 assignments but... ughhh.  I'm not stressing.  I am not a "must get a 4.0" type of student and this might sound terrible but when the class started one of the first things I did was check the syllabus to see how many points I could possibly miss and still get a B.  HAHA!  It's pretty certain I'll be getting a B or somewhere around there.  I'm just so unmotivated anymore.  

Wrapping it up.

• I started watching the first season of Parenthood on Netflix.  Totally hooked. 
• Porter insists on listening to Q106 to go to sleep.  I can't stand Q106 "Rock On".  Bleh. 
• We finally have Halloween costumes nailed down.  I'm excited that we're completely making them from stuff/costumes we already have at home.  YAY!  Hudson is going to be a cowboy...err a "horseboy" he says... and Porter is going to be a pirate.  I think it'll be adorable because we have a picture of Ryan dressed as a cowboy (err horseboy) at around 3 years old.  Hudson will be a mini-blonde-Ryan!
  
• I attempted to make cinnamon sugar pumpkin seeds today.  Meticulously picked out about 3-4 cups of seeds from our 4 pumpkins we carved only to burn them to a crisp.  Ugh. 
• Last week I made homemade chicken noodle soup. SO darn yummy!  I made an entire crock pot full... woah!  Dave stopped by- perfect timing, and we also sent some over to our neighbors Gary and Linda.  It was so easy to make!
• My mom comes to visit this week!  I'm so so so excited.  
• Hudson is such a little sneak.  He definitely follows in his big brother's footsteps.  For the past few weeks he has been pushing chairs over to the counter to get into my carmel candy stash and spray the bug spray around the kitchen.  The other day I caught him up there and snapped a picture.  I love that he's wearing shorts and a tie.  It's always random around here!  

•  I forgot to share, but I started a Baby Blog for #3 awhile back.  Just mainly preggo updates and such, but I like to keep that all in one place so I can print it and look back on it like I did the boys' pregnancy blogs.  
• We have our vacation plans for the beach next year already!  I'm super excited.  Since the baby is due the end of April/beginning of May, going to NC on spring break is out of the question.  We decided to go in summer and Lori and her family, plus Dave and my mom and Mike are going as well.  The only down side is the "season" we're going is triple the cost of spring break season.   I've been busting my butt off this fall (photography-wise) to save up for our portion of the beach house and prepare for this trip expenses.  Did I mention we'll be going when the baby is only 6-8 weeks old?  Yeah, mama will need a relaxing oceanfront beach house by that point I'm sure.  I figure if we moved twice before Hudson was 7 weeks old we can manage a vacay with Numero Tres.  Holden Beach, here we come!
• This weekend was filled with lots of family fun things for the fall... a little "carnival" at the local Lions Club, the pumpkin patch, making carmel apples, carving pumpkins.... fun fun!  This will have to be a post all of its own.  

5 Reasons to Leave a Comment

Anne left me a comment with a link to this blog article, 5 Reasons to Leave a Comment, written by Janice Croze (founder of 5 Minutes for Mom).  First off, Janice's writing is hilarious.  Love her humor!  And secondly, she sure drives a good point home.   

Ladies, I am going to tell you a story about mom blogging in the “old days”, before Twitter and Facebook — yes, pull up a rocking chair and put down your smart phones, (we didn’t have those back then either.) 

How did we get to know each other and find new mom blogs to read before Twitter, Facebook and Stumble Upon? 

Well, we commented. We DID. We really, really did. A lot.  

It is kind of like in the REALLY old days when they wrote letters. By hand. And put stamps on them. And walked to the mailbox. 

1. It is your calling card   Your comment is a note that respectfully shows the blog owner that you stopped by for a visit.  

2. It shows other readers how witty and/or fabulous you are — it is like throwing out your line and catching new readers! 

3. It deepens your relationship with the blog owner 

4. It adds value to the post-  The humor or insights of the post can be continued on and on by the readers discussions and comments. 

5. When it comes down to it, every comment is basically an AD for YOU! 

Yes — we had some good things going on in those olden days. Let’s not leave it all in the past…

Okay, so this is just a "highlight" of her post... you really need to travel over and read it yourself!  But isn't it so the truth?  Ahh... the good old days....

Kickoff: Blog Surfin'!

I'm so excited to get the response I did about reviving the blogging community.  I plan to update my "Bloggy" links in my sidebar and delete the inactive blogs and add in you gals that are dedicated to documenting and journaling your memories as well as connecting with other bloggers/moms.

LeeAnn had a great idea.... set a timer on your phone to remind you to blog.  Awesome idea.  There is also a site called Memo to Me.  I started using it a few years ago when I planned to write monthly letters to the boys.  Well, it never happened but funny... I still get the Memo to Me email reminders each month HAHA!

Another great idea is to set up mobile blogging.  This allows you to use your phone to either email or text a post to your blog.

First go to your blog dashboard and go to SETTINGS.  Then choose EMAIL & MOBILE.  Down near the bottom there is a section called POSTING OPTIONS.  I have both set up... I created an email address that I can type up a blog post in my email and email it to that email address and it posts it to my blog.  I also have my mobile device (iPhone) set up so I can text to my blog.    You can check out this website for more details:  http://www.google.com/support/blogger/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=42448

So... let's get started on Blog Surfing!  I thought this week I'd spotlight the bloggers who commented on my "Blog Revival" post.  My challenge to you is to visit AT LEAST 3 of these bloggers.  Especially 3 that you don't normally comment on (because I know some of us are from the same "blogging community" and already "know" eachother).

1. KimBerly:  She is so great at always commenting on my blog... I need to get better at commenting (and ahem... reading) her blog.  I hopped on over and she had a great post (or series of posts) called 10 Post You Challenge.  I'm going to bookmark this and do the challenge in a few weeks. 
2. LeeAnn (aka... Froggyleggs): One of my bestest girls IRL (In Real Life for new bloggers...).  Wife and mama to 2 sweet boys, sewer-extraordinaire, ultrasound tech and an ambitious do-it-yourself project person.  
3. Cass:  Oh Cass.... it is so funny how we met.  A few years ago I came across a blog post on a blog I read frequently.  It was called "Things Unsaid" or something like that.  I was intrigued and thought it was a really neat (yet passive aggressive in a way) post and so I googled some sort of combination of words looking for more blog posts in that type and came across Cass' blog.  At that point she was newly pregnant, I believe, with her now 3-year old Lexie.  What a neat "blog meet up" story, huh?
4. Heather:  Another IRL friend of mine who used to live close (and used to babysit Porter for me!), and has since lived in St. Louis and now Nashville.  She has two kiddos (who are 5 and... 8? EIGHT?!? How can it be?!) and is super super crafty and creative.  She's like the Martha Stewart of gift ideas.  Seriously.  She has amazing ideas (well... ideas or ability to FIND those neat ideas online and recreate them!) Years ago, Heather and I started the Thoughts on Thursday posts that have since traveled around the blog world.
5. Jenny (aka Stickyfeathers): She has two darling little boys, Tucker and Levi.  We've been reading eachothers blogs for quite some time and is one of the gals in the "original" blog community that was created years ago. 
6. Beanski:  Aka Bean... actually Gina.  I love reading Bean's blog because she often posts very "real" posts that hit home with me.  I tend to really gravitate and "connect" more with bloggers who post honest, raw and "real" things... much like myself.  Its hard to relate to those who sugar coat real life.  Okay... TANGENT.. .haha!  Anyhow, Gina is mama to two, ALMOST 3 kiddos under the age of 4.  
7. Jennifer:  I met Jennifer about ohhh 4 years ago when I was visiting St. Louis and did some travel sessions.  She booked a session for her oldest, Ashley, and is now the mama to two little girls.  
8. Kristi:  Kristi and I met YEARS ago through Scrapjazz, an online scrapbooking community.  She is quite an active blogger and also posts on her blog, Twin Cities Restaurant Blog, that documents great places to eat in the Twin Cities. 
9. Anne (aka FatJ): Anne is related to Kim (Beejo... see below) and has two little boys and is a pretty active blogger with lots of pics of her darling little guys. 
10. Kasey:  Kasey and I met through Heather, and have met IRL both while I visited Heather a few times and at BWMRW meet up in Chicago.  She has two precious little boys that she does an amazing job documenting their life experiences. 
11. Denise:  While her blog is private, she and I have been blog buddies for a LONG time... we both met through Scrapjazz as well, long before we had kids.  She now has three little boys, two of them TWINS! 
12. Kim: (aka Beejo): Kim and I met online quite awhile ago... I can't really remember how we met but we also had the awesome experience of meeting IRL at a Blog World Meets Real World meet up in Chicago.  I hope that maybe we can do another BWMRW trip sometime!  Kim takes bee-u-tiful pictures of her darling kids, Max and Vivi.
13. Mandi:  Her blog hasn't been updated in awhile BUT that is only because she's been busy blogging on her other blog.... documenting her pregnancy GROWING TWINS.  She's planning on moving back to the "big blog" now that her pregnancy is over and they are a family of 5 (she has a 3 year old daughter, Maya, as well)

WHEW!  That was tiring!  I think that is plenty for this week.  I hope you will make an attempt to visit a few (or all!) of these blogs and leave them a comment.  Maybe even bookmark them to revisit if you feel you "connect" with them and their writing styles.

Cheers!  Here is to reviving our blog community!

(PS... feel free to link to this post if you happen to post on your blog about this little bloggy challenge)

Shout out to bloggers!!!

Okay seriously.  Bloggers... we need to get back our community.  I miss the "old days" when blogging created such a great community for bloggers, mom bloggers, scrapbookers, photographers etc.  It was amazing to connect to other women around the country who shared in your same woes and triumphs.

I miss it.  I really do.

So, I'm determined to change this.  I'm going to cut back on Facebook.  Because I full heartedly blame Facebook for the "demise" of the blogging community.  I do.  And it is time for blogging to make a comeback and for the blogging community to reconnect.

Here is what *I* am going to do... and what I am going to challenge *YOU* to do as well.


-Post on your blog at least 3 times this week.  Even if its just a little blip about something small that happened during your day.  Post.  Document it.... for you... for your kids... for your memories.


-Comment on at least 3 other bloggers each day.  Most bloggers use Google Reader (or bloglines?  is that still around?) and it is so easy to read a post and skip onto the  next without commenting.  Don't.  Leave them a little blog love... everyone loves comments! 


-And this week I'm going to start doing a Blog Surfing Sunday (or something like that) and highlight a few blogs.  I hope that my readers will take a few moments to hop on over to those sites and leave them some comment love. 

So... are you in?  Are you willing to make a little effort to reconnect?  Is anyone still out there reading?  Leave me a comment... I do love it.

awakening

This couldn't have been said any better.  (borrowed from Beanski's blog)

A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! No more fighting and no more crying or struggling to hold on.... And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything,

it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.


You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.

On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point to keep smiling, to trust, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Bloggy Surfin'

I've come across some fantastic blogs lately and thought I should do a post so I can share!

-Hyperbole and a Half.  OH DEAR GOD this blog is hilarious! She basically illustrates stories from her life and it is definitely read-worthy!

-Catalog Living-   I shared this awhile ago but is worth sharing again.

-Lamebook-  The funniest and lamest of Facebook

-Regretsy-  The "Fail Blog" of hand crafts.  Nuff said.

-Creativity By Crystal-    She has some fantabulous scrapbook (digital) templates that she puts on sale every Tuesday.  Its called Template Tuesday.  I am 99% a paper scrapbooker, but I've done a few digital layouts here and there.  They're quick and easy and great for those pages I really don't have any journaling for.  I purchased a few of Crystal's layouts and plan to use them both for digital layouts and for sketches for regular scrapbooking.

Next weekend (Holy heck Thurs to Sun!!) I'm scrapbooking with the ladies at The Cottage... you know, "What Happens at The Cottage, Stays at The Cottage."  BAHAH!  I am soooo ready for a weekend to just.... be.... Be productive, be creative, be silly, be drunk, be child-free.  Oh yea! 

Must See Websites

Don't Even Reply.com:  (aka... Emails from an Asshole)  This is a collection of e-mails this guy sent to people who post classified ads. His goal: to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. 


Catalog Living:  Look into the exciting lives of the people who live in your catalogs.  


The Meanest Mom:  


Marta Writes

I just have to share this

I found this blog through Cheeky Lotus' blog... and I was cracking up at her post. Cracked me up.... we're pretty straight up with our kids, too, and I could totally see something like this happening here HAHAHA!

read it.... here at Joy Unexpected

I found your camera!

I ran across this neat blog on PostSecret.... I Found Your Camera. People post pictures from cameras they have found in hopes of finding their rightful owners. Now, if only EVERYONE knew about this site.... how neat!

Pray for Cora

First off... I need to post this link to the Macs.... their little girl, Cora, is just 11 months old. She had a series of ear infections and at one of their follow up visits just 2 weeks ago they found that their sweet little girl had an enlarged liver and ultimately, cancer. She is now going through chemo and dealing with some other health problems as well. Please visit their blog and pray for this family. My heart aches to read their blog and see a seemingly happy and healthy Cora just a month ago at Christmas time and now hooked up to ventilators in a hospital.