treat her well

Dear World, 

I bequeath to you today one tiny little girl...in a crisp new dress...with two big, brown eyes....and a happy laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of sunskissed brown hair that glitters in the sun when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning...and skipping off to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Good-bye" and walk with little girl steps to the classroom.

Now she'll learn to stand in lines...and wait for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school bells...and deadlines...and she'll learn to giggle...and gossip...and only pay attention when the teacher is watching. She'll learn how to feel hurt inside and she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit in the backyard on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across a crack in the footpath. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed in the morning and lay on the couch engrossed in a much loved childhood show. No, now she'll have to worry about more important things...like grades and which 'cool' skirt to wear and which friends can play with her at recess. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of prams and dolls. And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her mentor and role model and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers, which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole wide world.

Today when that school bell rings for the very first time...she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group...with all its privileges and its disadvantages too. She'll learn that in time proper young ladies do not laugh out loud...or kiss dogs...or keep bugs in jam jars in bedrooms...or even watch ants scurry across cracks in the footpath in the summer. Today she'll learn that all who smile at her are not her true friends. And I'll stand back and watch her start out the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.

So, world, I bequeath to you today, one little girl...in a crisp new dress...with two big, brown eyes...and a flash of sunkissed brown hair that glitters in the sunlight when she runs........I trust you'll treat her well.

pug dogs and garbage trucks

Hudson: "Mom, when I grow up and move out, I'm gonna get a Pug dog and send you videos of it."  

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Ryan and I are discussing the garbage truck that got stuck in the ditch down the road.  It's midnight. Amelia is asleep between us.  She groggily mumbles "I think I've heard enough of the garbage truck talking".  I ask "you don't want to hear about it anymore?"  She says "no" 

Kindergarten

Tomorrow my sweet girl goes off to kindergarten.   To say I'm not ready to let her go is an understatement.  She is SO ready to go... she's been asking about kindergarten since the last day of preschool!  I have joked with her that I'm not letting her go, that she's going to stay home with me one more year, or I'm going to homeschool her.  She tells me"NO mom!  I want to go to kindergarten!"   But I'm just so... sad.   I know I felt so sad about the boys going... but I think I realize now how fast it goes once they're in school.   My days with her are gone.  Gone.   I feel like I should have taken more advantage of it.  Worked less.  Been more spontaneous and taken her to more fun places.  I don't want her to grow up.  I want her to stay sweet, and innocent, and kind and caring and brave.   I'm literally in tears typing this.  I worry about her teacher... will she know how special she is?  Will she love her?  Will she be gentle and kind hearted and nurture my baby's heart and mind?  Will she embrace her ambition and boldness and fearlessness or will she find it a burden?   Will she treat her as if she were her own child?  

Life is just going by so fast right now.   I feel like I'm on this spinning wheel and I can't slow it down.  Summer is gone and I honestly feel like we blinked and it was over.  Did we embrace the days as much as we could?  I don't feel like we did.   Am I embracing these days with my babies as much as I can?  I don't feel like I am, but I feel like I'm trying.  

Slow down, time.   My heart can't take all this.

sisters

This morning, the girls have ridden their play broom & mop "horses" around the house... galloping and making adorable horse noises.   They've laughed together.  Amelia has called Lulu "sweetie" and showed Lulu how to push her stuffed monkey around the house in a laundry basket.  I hopped in the shower, leaving them and their stick horses to gallop the main floor of the house.   I got out of the shower to find quiet.... I crept up the stairs and found two sweet little girls sitting in Amelia's bed, playing with stuffed animals, kids music on the radio, just chattering to each other (well, Amelia chattering to Lulu).   I adore this.
 
There are times I just can't believe the way they get along.   The boys weren't like this and the boys rarely get along even now.   I often wonder what I/we did wrong as parents to the boys.   What kept them from bonding as brothers?  What kept them from loving each other?  What created this dislike and resentment in each of their hearts?   *sigh*  I'm going to enjoy every moment of the girls loving each other- its so priceless to me. 

speaking spanish

Amelia (looking at Hudson's Beanie Baby Book): "Mom, look its the cat Hudson has!"

Me: "Yep, its Snip the Siamese Cat."

Amelia: "Oh neat! Siamese! That means he speaks Spanish!"

amelia's bedroom

Kids bedrooms are my favorite to decorate... and not even joking, partially why I want my kids to all have separate bedrooms- SO I HAVE MORE KID ROOMS TO DECORATE!   Amelia's room is the smallest of the 4 kids rooms (not by much... just because of this jutted out area where the fireplace from downstairs takes up part of her room).  When we moved, I didn't change anything about her room... basically just painted the same color, put up her same curtains and bed and decor and voila!  

Here is her bedroom before:  

And here it is now!  

Her curtains are just fabric from JoAnn Fabrics.  I'm super sucky at sewing so I literally sew a straight line and use the ring clips to attach the curtains.

I adore her Jenny Lind bed, although I'm sure we'll upgrade her to a full sized bed in a couple years.  I'll miss the antique bed though!

Pennant Banner was found at Target and the metal butterfly was from World Market.   The frames and pictures are all either thrift store finds and painted or printed off by me.  I found her dresser at a thrift store and painted it too.  Reminds me... we have the headboard that matches it.  HMM.  

The "I Love You To The Moon And Back" picture I found at this little shop in Grand Haven this summer when we were on vacation.  

Tassle banner is from Target and the signs Porter and I painted for Amelia's nursery.  Shelf is from Ikea. 

My mom painted this giraffe picture for Amelia at one of those "painting parties".  

Little tchotchkes on her shelf.   I adore nesting dolls.  The unicorn and copper piggy bank were mine as a child.   We bought this doll for her in Eze, France.  

 BEFORE: 

AFTER: 

No Pets

My house is trashed and there are about 40 other things I could have accomplished this evening but at 6:20 I decided it was too nice of a day to clean and do domestic activities so I loaded these 3 up in the car to go to the Metropark for a half hour and soak up this gorgeous weather. Fall is approaching quickly, after all, and we won't have beautiful 70* evenings to play. 

We arrived at the park and immediately everyone needed to use the bathroom. Of course. I send them to the port-a-potty alone, not wanting to see what they touch inside. Hudson goes, Amelia turns back and opts to continue playing. She then whines she's thirsty. I think to myself, why didn't I just pop them in the bath and deposit them into bed early this evening? And then I hear her mutter "oh shit" as she attempts to scale the obstacle course climber. I attempt to brush it off and play it cool and hope the other family at the park didn't hear my 4 year old potentially corrupting their boys.

I give the kids a 5 minute warning and breathe a sigh of relief as the cute family with polite, well behaved children pack up to head home. Amelia then says "I have to go potty real bad!" Seeing we were all alone, aside from two teenage girls occupied with their cell phones, I tell her to go behind the tree over there. I smugly high five myself as I see her squatting inconspicuously behind the tree. I taught her well.

Then she yells "I need you to wipe me mom!" What? Wipe? Oh yes. She took a shit behind the tree at the park. I tell the kids to hurry up, we have to go because well, evidence + kids are loud + I don't usually take doggy poop bags to the park with my children. Then Hudson yells loudly "she POOPED behind the tree?!" We scurry down the sidewalk and she noted the sign we had talked about on the way in... No animals in the park so they don't POOP where children play. Let's hope it rains tonight. I can't take these kids anywhere. We are going home. To bed. stick a fork in me. Im done.

She still has this BEAST

A little funny from Amelia...

Last weekend Amelia sat on a bee and got stung on her butt cheek. (A little lavender + roman chamomile= all better). Anyhow, she's been fine but tonight she crawled into bed with me and was scratching her butt cheek. I said "What in the world is the problem" She says "I still have this BEAST!" OMG I guess to a 4 year old Bee Sting.... might sound like BEAST-ing? OMG OMG. She kills me. #AmeliaSays

blowing away

Amelia: "MOM! My airplane is still outside in the windy rain!"

Me: "You'd better go run and get it!"

Amelia: "But Mom! I'm too little I would blow away in the wind and you would scream 'Where's Amelia? I guess she blowed away in the wind!' So if I have to go out and get it, well, I guess you'll just have to scream for me because I blowed away!"

Amelia Says

6|24|16
Amelia:  I'm not very good at driving.

Me:  Why's that?

Amelia:  Cause I don't have any directions from driving lesson girl.

Amelia Says

Me, to Ry "there's a light I want for my office at Menards. I might have you swing in there and get t after you drop the boys off at school."

Amelia (eyes huge): "Swing in there?!?! That's gonna have to be a BIG swing!"

Amelia Says

5|26|16
We're at the "Warnival" at Porter's school, and one of the prizes is inflatable animals.   There are some kids carrying dolphins... some pink, some blue.

Amelia:  "I want one of those pink girl dolphin balloons.  Because I'm REALLY loving those dolphin balloons!"

Me: (I repeat what she says, jokingly mocking her)

Amelia:  "Mooooom!  I was gonna say that!"

Fearless

This is one of the most fearless little girls I know.  She loves her Lacey, and begs to ride her almost daily. 

She's learning to steer her on her own and she's doing a darn good job at it!   The other day I saddled Lacey up for Amelia to ride and she insisted, mom I want to go fast!   Make her go fast!   She's trotted before, so I told her we could Trot.  Well.... after a minute, Amelia bounced right off Lacey's back and fell at her feet.  Thank goodness she had a helmet on. 

I picked her up and she cried.  And then I told her to get back on, and tossed her up on Lacey's back again.  We walked around a bit, and then she insisted I let her do it on her own. So I gave her the reins and reminded her how to steer, and she spent the next 20 minutes figuring out how to get Lacey to go into the trees area of our pasture and walk through the mud.  It was so cute and she is so persistent.  

Then she says "I want to go fast again!"  I told her I didn't think she was ready yet and she said "I will hold on tight!"   Ha!  After begging a few times, I obliged, and we trotted a minute and she was happy as could be.  

I called this week to schedule riding lessons for her at a barn down the road.  They have a pony who the lady said Amelia would be able to lead and brush and help saddle and pick out his hooves.  I told her this and the look on her face was priceless.  She said "I can hold his hooves and pick them out all by myself?!"  She loves picking out Lacey's hooves and is bummed she can't do them on her own because, well, Lacey's hoof is like the size of her head. Haha!  

This girl.  Oh she has my heart for sure.   I love her determination and independence and bravery.   

tiny bible obsession

Not sure what her obsession with these mini bibles are, but she carries them around everywhere (even took her little pink bible to Disney 😂). She's planning on taking them all to church today. Mmmmkay #biblehoarder #shecantread#shepretendstoread

Amelia Says

3|22|16
"The sun was a little circle with 5 lines and then it was a circle with no lines and that's why I have to draw people with a sun that's big on one side and it has lines.  And it's crazy the sun in the sky doesn't have lines like the [telephone] poles have lines by the oreo cows!"

"I wish it was Christmas eving.   What's taking so long for it to be Christmas eving?"

Amelia Says: December 2015 Edition

A:  Sometimes you say the F-word.

Me: I know.  I shouldn't say bad words. I try not to.

A:  I know.  I shouldn't say bad words either.  But dogs don't even talk!  And Lulu says "dadadadada!"  

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(I had a papercut from an envelope and had showed her and said it hurt)

A:  When I get a bit older, I wish I could cut my finger with an envelope.  What was the thing that cut you, Mom?  

Me:  An envelope.

A:  Oh no, that's so sad!

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A:  Ohhhhh I missed you, Mom!  I wish you could stay here all day.

Me:  But I was here all day.

A:  No you weren't.  You were at the airport!

Me:  That was last night, silly! (I took my mom to the airport the night before)

A:  No it wasn't!  It was 3 weeks ago!  And yesterday morning you were there too!

Seriously Amazing Facts from Amelia

Brainy fact from Amelia today:

"After you eat food it turns up in your belly and then turns into poop. Is that seriously amazing, mom?"

Amelia-isms: October Edition

Picking her up from preschool, she shows me where she accidentally wrote on her sweater at preschool.   She says "It was an accident.  It's okay.  It will come off on Sunday."

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I laid out her clothes for the next day and put some underwear out for the morning.  She said "I already have underwear on!"  I told her she's been wearing them all day and she'll need clean ones in the morning. She told me "But I can wear these tomorrow again! I've only been wearing them a month!"

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Invisible fence guy was here giving me a quote for the yard. He asked the ages of the boys and then Amelia says:  "Yeah, and my brothers pee standing up out of their PENISES in the front!"

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Amelia Says

Today, as she left for school, she was wiping off the fog/condensation from the front door.  She squeals, excitedly..."Look!  I'm windshielding!"   HAHA!  OH my word.  

This girl cracks me up all the time.  I regret not writing down every little thing she says because she is SO. DARN. CUTE.   Right now she LOVES "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten.  We get in the car and she says "Let's listen to the take back my life song!"  And she really gets into it.  I need to record her one day.  

Putting on "doderant" like mommy

"Look!  I did my hair spikey like Hudson!"  (that's a GLOB of hair paste)

Lunch one day after storytime at the library.  She has the best expressions.   

half year updates

AMELIA @ 3.5:
This girl… she has such a charismatic personality.  I swear, everywhere we go the pre-tween girls just LOVE her.  And she eats up the attention like its a bag full of candy.  When we go to Porter’s football practices on Wednesdays, there is a group of 3 girls who are probably 8-11 years old maybe, and they just LOVE playing with her.  They push her in the swing and chase her around (because she is just running wild, grinning ear to ear “Hey come this way!  Let’s go do this!  Oh you can’t catch me!”).   I smile when I overhear the girls saying to each other “She’s so ADORABLE!   Isn’t she funny?  She’s so cute!"

She cracks me up when she accidentally breaks things… she’ll fess up. “Mom, I sorry I broked that ______… but it’s okay, it was an accident!”   And she’ll flash her big grin with her dark puppy dog eyes.  

This summer she fell into my grandmas pool without floats and Ryan had to jump in and save her.   She told us for weeks “I almost DRAINED!”   And every time we went to a pool she’d say “ I need my floats so I don’t drain again.  I don’t like to drain!”  

HUDSON @ 7.5:
Hudson is slowly but surely coming out of his shell.  He’s always been so painfully shy.  When we know he’s going to be in new situations, I try to coach him on how to respond when someone talks to him…. I let him know “You don’t have to talk to them a long time… you can be polite and just say Hi, or if they ask your name just tell them. OR if they ask you a question you can give them a thumbs up if it feels to hard or scary to talk.   When we went to his new school to meet his teacher he floored me with not being scared to say hi.  He recently started gymnastics where Amelia goes and he’s having a blast.  I think he lack of competition with others is giving him confidence… he loves the pit and trampoline.  He’s becoming more confident in going into class alone (I dropped him off yesterday and when I got inside with the girls he had joined his class on his own)

PORTER @9.5:
I am so proud of the little man he is becoming.  When we went camping this past August, I noticed just how much he’s growing, socially and emotionally.  This boy, he has so much wit and sarcasm and he’s hilarious to talk to.   At the campfire, he wanted to be included in all the conversation and joked back and forth with Ryan’s uncles.  It cracked me up, seeing him light up and shoot sarcastic jokes back.  He is starting to jump out of his comfort zone, too.   He’s always been a super social kid, and is always a friend to everyone.  But, in new situations, sometimes he freezes up, which has always surprised me with his go-getter attitude.   While on vacation, he randomly volunteered to be part of a demonstration for a log cutting mill demonstration.   He got up in front of the crowd, joked with the guy doing the demonstration, and had a great time.   It was adorable.   We also went zip lining and walked across a rope bridge.  I was CERTAIN he would bail, because when we were at Disney this past January he refused to do any of the big/fast rides that went high.  He wouldn’t go on the ferris wheel, or any ride that went high up.  However, he had no fear with the rope bridge, rock wall climbing or zip lining!  It was so neat to see him becoming so brave!