sistering

Bear with me here.   My mind and heart are so full at the moment I feel it may explode.  You see, I’ve had an amazing weekend.   Again.  WORKING.   What’s that?  Yes.   Working.  This weekend has been a mixture of Hustle and Heart… digging in and doing hard work and collaborating and brainstorming with amazing women I have the pleasure of working with on a daily basis.  And digging in and doing hard emotional stuff that digs down deep to the core of you and leaves you raw and exposed and not the same as you were before.  

My job as a Lemon Dropper… our team puts on these amazing FUEL events (Fire Up Everything in Life) and I had only planned on attending the Chicago one.  However, when I found out Kelly secured Glennon Melton (THE Momastery writer) for Orlando Fuel, I was in.  I booked my flight and I was in.  

Glennon was amazing.  I mean, how couldn’t she be?  She’s amazing.   She made me reflect and think and cry and laugh hysterically, sometimes all in the same minute.  She said something this weekend, though, that really hit me.  She was talking about how we, as women, tend to judge ourselves so harshly.   We look at others and we judge ourselves because we aren’t like them, or our lives aren’t like theirs.   We see everyones “highlight reel” on social media and feel like we aren’t enough.   We start to feel like those that make choices that differs from ours means that they’re doing things better.   She told this hilarious story about not having it all together (surprise HAHA!) and feeling like this mom at the mall was feeding her “perfect” child an avocado as a dig at her.  She said…. we see these glimpses of things that are different than our journey, and we feel like those people are doing those things “at” us.  She said… No one is breastfeeding “AT YOU”.  No one is organic eating “AT YOU”.  No one is stay at home mom-ing “AT YOU”.  No one is vacationing “AT YOU”.  No one is dressing perfectly “AT YOU”.  We have to stop letting other women and their life choices be a reflection of what we don’t see in the mirror.   We have to stop judging ourselves based on their pretty, or their money, or their perfect, or their success, or their talent.  And…. we have to stop hating them for it too.  We have to be able to see and appreciate the beauty that they possess and the unique beauty that we, too, possess.  H.E.L.L.O!  

Mothering is hard.  We can’t bear the weight of life all alone and spend our lives in competition with others that are not like us.  Another thing she was saying was:  In carpentry, walls are built on joists.  Joists are where two pieces of wood join together to bear the weight of a load above it.  When the joist is too weak to bear the weight of the load, the carpenter will put a a board on one side of it.  If that isn’t enough, they’ll put another board on the other side of it.   Do you know what this is called?  SISTERING! Sistering.  Seriously.   What a perfect word, because isn’t that what our girlfriends do?  When life is hard, they come and stand beside you and they help you bear the weight of the load you are too weak to carry.  We have to stop being at odds with each other as women and we have to stand together, beside each other, and support each other.   Life is so heavy.  And messy.  And HARD.   We are going to need our sisters to survive it.  

My word this just about hit me upside the head.   And you know what happened this weekend?  A lot of sistering.   As we had dinner Saturday night, and I ended in tears about how NOT together I felt I was, how crazy life felt for me, how out of control I felt with things…. my girls… they were there beside me, standing there, giving me words of advice and encouragement and supporting me while I was weak.  Its so hard to admit I’m weak and broken and imperfect. I’m so blessed to have these girls by my side.  

As I leave Orlando and reflect on the amazing relationships I have with these women… these sisters… I realize that this is what its all about.  Coming together, working together, supporting each other.  SISTERING.   My heart is heavy as I give hugs and say goodbyes, knowing that little pieces of my heart are hopping on planes and scattering across the country back to their homes and families.  And I, too, will head home to my sweet family that I’ve missed.   I know, despite the difference, they are there beside me, sistering when I need them.  And I can’t wait to see them again, to hug their necks again.  What a blessed life I have.  

happy 2 year anniversary, lemon droppers!

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the Lemon Droppers. Two years ago my friend Lindsay Teague Moreno came up with an idea... a plan... a DREAM.... that would change the world of essential oils and ultimately the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. I'm one of those lives.

I joined the Lemon Droppers in April 2013 and in the past 23 months my life has evolved into something I never imagined possible.

I've turned my family into oil obsessed fools (we use oils like we're freaking granola hippies. WHAT? That is so not us!).

We've learned so much about using essential oils and how to replace so many OTC medications in our home. We don't rush to the doctor when we get sick... we know with a majority of ailments we can take care of it at home- naturally and more quickly than with OTC/prescriptions- if we begin oil use early and apply often.

I've build a business that gives me the flexibility to live my life the way I've always dreamed of.

I have made a job I love and never want to stop thinking about.

This team... my job... has allowed my husband to quit his life-sucking J-O-B and work from home with me.

We've been able to pay off debt and student loans that I'd come to terms would take me decades- or until my death- to pay off.

I've formed relationships and strengthened friendships with some of the kindest, most encouraging, supportive people ever.

I have and will be traveling to places I never thought would be possible.

It is amazing, really, to think that so much could and has happened in the past two years. I'm forever thankful and so blessed to be a part of this team. To be able to experience all that life has to offer and to live life the way we want to. You only get one shot at this life. Go big or go home, and make the most of it! I can't wait to see what the next 2 years has in store. Without a doubt, it's going to be big and life changing.

you belong

Remember that time I was in Utah filming some videos with an awesome tribe of Lemon Droppers? When we first got our script, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a dry eye in the room. There may have been a few sobs from one preggo Lemon Dropper. This... this speaks to me. This is our heart. This is what it's all about.

“We’re not just about business. We’re a tribe. A clan. A family.”

Two years ago I was at a really REALLY low spot in my life. I was working from home in an oversaturated field (photography... you know it.... have SLR, become photographer... talent or not) in a market area where quick and cheap rules. Making ends meet was barely happening. My kids had been sick all winter and at the time, my oldest was home with a sore throat.

That day in April, when I had all 3 kiddos home with me, feeling lost and overwhelmed and like I was on a dead end road to forever being in debt, forever feeling like I was overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated- that day I took a huge leap of faith. Multiple things over the previous few weeks had pointed me to essential oils and after a long phone conversation with a friend (Michelle Heroff Sauer), I decided to charge my essential oil kit and try it out.

What I didn't know was that decision would change so many things in my life beyond our health. It changed friendships. It changed our habits. It changed our comfort zones. It changed our view on life. It changed our jobs. It changed our life. IT CHANGED OUR LIFE.

To say that investing in this little (awesome) kit of oils (because back then we didn't even get a diffuser with our kit!) changed me for the better is the truth. This team, these amazing, talented, strong, brave, funny, kind, encouraging women (and a few men!) have made me into a much better version of myself. We are all better today because of this crazy team called the Lemon Droppers. Because to be honest, that's what this business is all about- the people. Everything else, the health, the money, the rewards, the perks, the events, it’s all icing on the cake. The people are the core of the Lemon Droppers and they will always be. And, at the core of us, don’t we just want to belong to someone or something?

So, thank you, Lemon Droppers. Thank you for believing in me. For dreaming with me. For pushing me. For cheering me on. For empowering me. For trusting me. Thank you.

https://vimeo.com/123219458

One lucky mama

There are days I stop and think.... I'm so darn lucky I get to spend my days with this little doll.  I so so love the days we get to leisurely run errands, spend some QT together, grab some lunch and life is good.   I certainly won't regret these days, that's for sure.

Labor Day was not labor-free.

Ryan's Uncle Vince is in town and he laughed this evening as he noticed all our neighbors mowing their lawns.  "Isn't today Labor Day?  Doesn't that mean you're not supposed to work?"

Yeah... not around here.   This morning I started out making some signs I have to get done this week.  I also decided to paint the hutch in the dining room.  Looks MUCH better.  I got a load of laundry done and Ryan did some yard work.  We also found a rock had hit the sliding glass door to the above-the-garage apartment the other day and shattered the door.  So... Ryan spent some part of the day sweeping up glass.  Fun times!

I feel pretty accomplished, though!  Feels good to get some things done.    Porter spent the afternoon with the neighbors at their grandparents house.  Hudson felt a bit left out so I called my friend Karinya and had her drop her daughter Katherine off to play.  Oh Katherine is a hilarious nugget.  Karinya is always posting funny things she says.  Today, as I'm painting in the driveway she comes up to me and says "I'm an artist, too, you know."  I about died.  So. Darn. Funny.

Tomorrow is the first day of school.  I officially will have a 2nd grader and Kindergardener.  I can't believe it.  I'm feeling so anxious for Hudson.  He's nervous.  He really doesn't want to go to school.  I hope he's going to feel okay once he gets into class.  He's sitting at the same table as Lilly, his little preschool crush.   The boys have had their hair trimmed, baths taken, and their clothes laid out for the morning.  We, sadly, are missing new school shoes as they've been ordered but have not arrived.  Bummer.  I have their backpacks all ready, and filled with their new supplies. (Speaking of... Mom of the Year here... I pulled out Porter's backpack from the closet tonight- still dirty and filled with last years' old crayons and pencils. Oops!)  I have their lunches packed and was feeling quite nostalgic making TWO lunches this year.    I'm hoping to keep on top of preparing for the day the night before.   Who am I kidding... that'll last until like... tomorrow.

While I am feeling sad that my boys are no longer home with me at all during the week, I'm really looking forward to the year with Amelia.  It blows my mind that I'm starting the SECOND school year being a Work at Home Mom.  I love it.  It is by no means EASY, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.  No matter how many times I feel like I fail my kids, or my clients, or my housework.... I know that I'm doing my best and that the struggle is worth it to have the flexibility to be here for my kiddos and make my own hours.

I hope to do a few Mommy-and-Me activities with Amelia this year.  Tomorrow we're getting the boys off to school and then in the afternoon I'm going to take her to the barn to go horseback riding.  We have to meet the vet out there anyhow to have a Coggins test pulled, so I'm going to make the most of the trip out there.  On Wednesdays we're doing a baby signing class.  This lasts 4 weeks, so I'm already on the look out for something to do with her after that.  I'm thinking swimming classes would be right up her alley as she LOVES the water.   Or some kind of tumbling class.  Sitting-still-listening classes are going to be a challenge, but we'll see.  

So... adios summer... we're going to miss you so much.  It was way too short.  But alas, here's to a new school year.  I'm excited for the new adventures it holds!

WAHM benefits.

Mondays.

They usually are filled with to do lists of laundry and editing and emailing clients and dishes and more laundry and bills and grocery shopping. All the things needed to catch up from the weekend. Oh yeah, and taking care of the kids. That would be a big one.

Today was no different. I was gone late yesterday at a session in Bloomfield Hills. I got home at 10pm and had a couple client orders to place with my lab. I didn't get to bed until 2am. Amelia was up bright and early at 6:30 (thanks to Hudson screaming for toilet paper from the bathroom.). I had all intentions of buckling down and getting a lot of things accomplished. I have a few sessions to edit and I'm weeks behind on Project Life. I had a stack of bills to pay and piles of laundry to catch up on.

Carrie texted me asking about places to take Teddy (her 1-year old). I suggested the treehouse and then thought... Why not join them? I started to respond but then deleted my words. Then I looked at my babies and thought.... There aren't many more Mondays ill be able to just pick up and take them somewhere fun, to spend the day with them.

I hopped in the shower and was ready in record time. A few girlfriends met up with us- Carrie brought Teddy, Heather brought Rowen and Karinya brought Katherine (which Hudson was thrilled about... Someone his age!) and John.

I had only planned to spend 2 hours there, tops. We ended up staying and chatting until past 2:00. It was nice to "skip work" today and make some memories with the kiddos? Because I'm sure down the road they'll be more likely to remember the day mom threw her list away and packed them up for a fun day out instead of entertaining themselves and watching tv all day. I hope I can try to remember these type if days are needed once in awhile, if not on a regular basis. Work will always be there. "When in doubt, choose the kids. Work can come later..."

These days do not belong to me.

I'm trying to pick myself up out of the wallow of woe is me... woe is my day, unproductive and not going the way I wanted.   I carefully planned Amelia's nap today in attempt to shorten her morning nap (wake her up at 10:30) and hope she'll lengthen her afternoon nap (and thus go down earlier so I don't have to wake her up to pick Porter up from school).

I began my afternoon battle around 12:45.  Amelia had a bottle and I put her in bed.  I listened to her ramble and babble and laugh and play in her crib for a good 20 minutes.  I read Hudson a book and tucked him in- he only is requred to rest for an hour.

Amelia finally passed out and then I spent 45 minutes trying to get Hudson to stay in bed, go back upstairs, lay and read books... until I finally snapped and threatened the belt, smacking it on the side of his bed.  As he is finally staying in bed, I hear Amelia stirring in her crib.  Perfect.  the 45 minutes she DID nap today was wasted bargaining with a 4 year old.

I must keep reminding myself that these days are theirs, they don't belong to me.  I'm here to be their mom, to spend time with them and their needs, wants, desires are more important right now than getting laundry done or whatever else may be on my afternoon "Mommy's Hour" agenda.   These days, no, they don't belong to me.