Straight from the bottle

Tonight my friend/cousin, Amber, posted a link to an article called "Breastfeeding and the Agony of Baby's First Bottle."  Now, she and I have discussed our thoughts on this subject as both of us have experienced that "agony of baby's first bottle."  She nursed her oldest son, and was unable to with her 2nd.  She suffered great guilt and feelings of failure when she began formula feeding.  I had a somewhat simliar experience with Porter,  I had trouble breastfeeding Porter and as a first time mom of course I felt like a failure to switch him to formula.

I wholeheartedly chose formula for Hudson and will again for this baby.  I have no desire to breastfeed.   It isn't because I can't, or am unable to, or don't produce enough milk.  No, those are not factors in my decision.


I simply do not want to.  I like having my body to myself.  I like being able to eat and drink what I want without worrying if it will upset the baby's tummy.  I like being able to pass off night feedings to Ryan. I don't want to deal with sore, cracked nipples, possible infections, clogged ducts etc.  I like being able to leave my babies at home and have a "ME" day without worrying about when and where I'll pump or will the baby take a bottle and what if they don't.  Selfish? Lazy? Uneducated? To some it might seem.


A few weeks ago I came across Crystal Butler's blog post while looking at baby sewing tutorials.  Her post couldn't have been said any better in my own words: 

"I'm the odd one out in my demographic, I know.  And I am entirely supportive of my breastfeeding friends who brave some really tough stuff in order to give that gift to their child.  But the gift I desperately wanted to give my children this time around was a sane, healthy mom.  I resented the idea that everyone who chooses to bottle-fed is somehow making a lazy, uneducated choice.  I stand steadfast in my decision, having looked at all of my options and weighing the possible risks (including another expensive outpatient stint in intensive therapy), and I choose sleep.  I choose the ability to run errands, to enlist the help of my husband in feeding, and a certain freedom to just stare at my guy during feeding and breathe him in without wincing in pain, checking his latch, and crossing my fingers that he got enough."


Will my children suffer a life of sickness and stupidity because I didn't/don't/won't breastfeed them? HELL NO. The guilt I felt when I switched to formula with Porter has been erased by the knowledge that my children are thriving, happy, healthy, intelligent children.


Back to the article that Amber posted on Facebook.  A few things I so loved from it....

One commenter quoted: "The other day, March of Dimes tweeted the AAP’s position on breast feeding which included the line breast feeding “promotes a [...] emotional connection between mother and baby.” Emotional connections happen irregardless of feeding type! When the powers that promote breast feeding try to use love and the mother-baby bond in their war against the bottle, that is where I draw the line. It’s stupid and WRONG and only serves to guilt bottle-feeding moms and dads."

And, I L-O-V-E this quote by Lisa from Bottle Babies: "Bottle Babies motto is that ‘How you fill your babies tummy is not as important as how you fill their heart, mind and spirit’. Your baby will not remember how you gave birth to them or how you fed them or even what nappies you wrapped their bottom in. But they will remember the nights that you snuggled in bed with them and read a book or sang a song or just cuddled them close while they breathed in your familiar smell, listened to the rhythm of your heart beat and they way you make them feel safe and secure. Those are the things that are important." 


AMEN! 

I have always thought that with all the push for breastfeeding... all the worry and concern and media spent trying to encourage moms to breastfeed because "their kids will be smarter, and healthier and they will bond more with them"... what about spending all that effort encouraging parents to read to their children, to spend time with them, to take everyday moments and use them as learning experiences?  THAT would make children smarter... and bonds stronger.  I'm sorry, I can't buy into the fact that a child sucking on my body is going to make me bond any more with them that if they are eating from a bottle in my arms. Furthermore, I firmly believe that a childs' intelligence and health has nothing to do with what they are fed that first year of life.  

Yes, breastmilk is more natural... its what is made specifically for babies. And of course, if you're willing, sure- breastfeed! I'm all for the AAP encouraging breastfeeding, but isn't the point to encourage and not make them feel guilty for any opposing decision?  My thoughts on it..... of course breastmilk is the most natural choice for babies.  It really is.  But... so is growing every bit of your own food in your backyard and harvesting it from the ground to feed your family.  Do many of us choose that nowadays?  Nope.  Are we criticized for buying our food at the store?  Nope.  

A few weeks ago I was browsing one of the message boards on BabyCenter and came across a post by a first time mom.  She posted about how she was feeling pressured from her family to breastfeed when she had no desire to.  She finally pushed the guilt away and decided she was going to formula feed.  And she was just simply writing that she wanted to let others know that if they don't want to choose to breastfeed that they should go with their heart and not be guilted or made to feel bad. You should have read the masses of criticism from Pro Breastfeeders/Anti-Formula Feeders. The poor girl was crucified for her decision and just for trying to ease other moms fears who might be feeling guilted one way or another. So sad. 

WHEW. Okay I'm sure I'm opening a huge can of worms but I could spew on and on.  To me, it doesn't matter whether you nurse, pump, supplement, or formula feed. Parenting is hard enough without being ridiculed for how or what you feed your child.  We're all moms, we're all trying to do our best and every mom who feeds and loves her baby should be celebrated the same way and not made to feel guilty of their own personal decisions.  We, as moms, have the same ultimate outcome in mind:  happy, healthy, well adjusted children.  There is a lot more that goes into creating that outcome than what you decide to feed your baby.  


And... a few articles that either made me laugh or nod my head yes, yes...
People I want to punch in the throat

Bad Parent: Straight to the Bottle

Fearless Formula Feeder (a blog)

TFT: Kids with iPods/iTouches....

I've always been so annoyed (astounded?!) at how many kids I've heard of getting iPods for Christmas.  So many kids at school come back after Christmas break and say they received an iPod or iTouch or what not.... and I just could never believe it.  I mean, I did... but I always thought "who in the hell..."

Well, I am considering becoming one of "those".   Let me explain.  When I recently upgraded my iPhone 3 to the 4, I was left with a phone.  Just a phone.  Its kind of slow as far as GPS etc... but the apps worked fine.  However, for 6 months or so its just been sitting in a basket on the counter... my intentions were to sell it online.  I could get I think $60-$75 dollars for it.  Yes, I know... that's a decent amount for a used phone (actually... its a perfectly brand new refurbished one as I'd just had it replaced before upgrading).  

Now... with that in mind.  I have had to put a password lock on my phone because Porter loves to use it in the mornings to watch shows on Netflix or to play games.  I then had the brilliant idea..... "Why don't I give him my old iPhone 3 for Christmas to use only with games!?"  He wouldn't be able to purchase apps (there is a password for my iTunes), but I could get rid of all the games on my phone (more space!) and he'd have his own little handheld game machine!   I should also explain... we don't do video games/handhelds that often here.  We have a Wii but we rarely use it.  Porter has a Leapster but uses it only occasionally.  We don't have DS's or DSi's or PSP's or or... or... I don't even know all the names of all the little electronic devices out there for kids HAHA!  We only have a few games for the Leapster because OMG at $25/game that can get pricey!   If he had the iPod (iPhone 3)... most games are free, and paid games are only $1-$3 each.  ALSO... all games are stored on the phone so no little cartridges to get lost.   Hmmmmmm....

So what is your opinion on kids with iPods.  And I guess its not just iPods in general, because I'm feeling like after writing this that the iPod is just essentially another handheld game device.  My only huge concern is Porter being responsible enough for it to take care of it, not drop or break it or lose it.  

Would you or wouldn't you... if you had an old iPhone laying around, unactivated for phone usage... would you consider giving it to your almost-6 year old for Christmas?

TFT: Double Standards?

Okay, I hope hope hope this does not come off the wrong way to some readers.  Its just something that struck me as... interesting.

So last week I was watching What Not To Wear.  And the girl who was getting the makeover was doing her little after shopping interview" and she was wearing a t-shirt that said "I *heart* black people."  (she was black/african american).   At first I didn't think anything of it (I was trying to read the top line of her shirt b/c it was kind of wrinkled by her boobs so I only at first read "black people") but once I figured it out I thought... hmm... what would happen if a "white" person wore a shirt that said "I *heart* white people" or a chinese person wore a shirt that said "i *heart* chinese people" or an indian person wore a shirt that said "I *heart* indian people"? 

Is it just me or does it seem like "race" or "color" (what is the PC term??) is one way?  What would you think if you saw your "white" neighbor wearing a shirt that said "I heart white people"? 

I know race/religion/politics/abortion/sexuality is often a terribly awful topic to get onto and this is probably a loaded blog topic.  I just was curious, though, about others' thoughts on her shirt.  Not that it offended me... I didn't see it as an "I hate other skin colors" shirt but I feel like if a light skinned person wore a shirt "loving" their skin color it'd be seen as racist.

What do you think?

TFT: Movin' on up.... Booster Seats

The past few weeks I've been noticing so many kids Porter's age moving on up to belt buckling carseats/booster seats.  And in the past few weeks I've also witnessed multiple kids under the age of, oh, 6 maybe, riding in the front seat of a vehicle in their booster seats.  Today as I was walking into pick Porter up the thought crossed my mind that many of his friends are moving up to boosters and I had not for one second considered making the change.  In fact, I was just recently researching for another carseat for Porter to have as a spare for our babysitter(s) (this is plural b/c thus far this year we've had about 82 babysitters) to take him to preschool.  

Okay, I have said it a bazillion times before but I'm so overly anal about carseats with my kids that its not funny.  99% of the time I make sure I'm the one installing my kids' carseats in whatever vehicle they might be riding in.  And I usually give the person driving them around a little rundown on "chest clip must go level with armpit..... needs to be tight enough to slip just 2 fingers beneath it....).  Porter is 37lbs.  He's not quiiiite at the 40lb mark that is the bare minimum recommendation for moving up to a booster seat but I have to be honest.... I can not imagine!  Like, my stomach is in knots thinking about putting a booster seat in my car for him and not having him in a 5-point harness.

SIGH.

I can't get over the fact that he's growing up.  That one of these days (ok, really, it doesn't HAVE to be until he's 65lbs because our rockin' carseats harness up to 65lbs.  What's that... 3rd grade or something?? HAHAHAA!) I'll have to let go of control... let go of the fear of his upper body being pummeled forward toward the front seat and head whiplashed around and internal organs squashed by the seatbelt should we be in an accident.  I know, I know... drama queen.  But he's my baaaaby!

I was just curious as to how many readers had swapped their kids over to boosters as soon as they were 40lbs ish.... (or maybe it was sooner?  I've known in the past many people putting their kids in boosters as early as 2.5ish.  GAHHHHH!).  How many readers have older kids still in a 5point harness?  Am I the only super anal person around this joint?

Clarification

I took the boys to Lansing today to shop Old Navy's "teacher/student" sale (25% off your entire purchase! Yes! That means the WHOLE store is technically ON SALE! ) and I have some time to ponder more about my "Quality vs. Quantity" post.

I have a lot of acquaintances.... "friends".... let's get together for a big play-date, read your blog and comment on your Facebook, say "hi" to you at the store, hit you up for advice- type of friends.  I think everyone NEEDS those friends... its a great network of advice and support.  I think acquaintances are great.  I love knowing a lot of people, networking through work or my business or other friends.

But where I seem to find the line is fuzzy is when I start to feel like because I now have a new friend... or have met someone new... or have known someone for awhile but have never been super close to them... that I have to try to get to know them more... or better... or see them more often to build up that friendship.  Its almost like I feel like everyone I'm "friends" with I have to be "good friends" with them.  And that is draining.  There is not enough time in my or anyone's life to be "good friends" with everyone.  And if I were to try to do that, my REALLY GOOD friendships would suffer and fall apart.

I started to think about clients that I consider as friends... friends of friends I consider friends.... relatives of friends that I consider friends... and bloggers I've never met in real life that I consider friends... and I hope that I didn't offend anyone by sound like "Hey, if you're not my BFF then screw you I'm not your FRIEND!!!" because that's not what I meant.  Its great to have friends and friends of friends and relatives of friend and blogger friends that are friends.... friends you casually chat with or connect with occasionally via FB or blogging or email or get togethers with others.  But I feel like sometimes I take that too far.... I start to feel anxious that I haven't tried to connect more with these friends and I start to feel bad.  But I need to realize *I don't have to*.  I can be distant friends... acquaintances... and still be friends.

TFT: Quality vs. Quantity

Interesting enough, many things have pointed me towards this post today.  First it was reading an article about "How to increase your friends list on Facebook".  Oh yes... it tells you

"VERY important point to take note of….when you request a friendship, write something personal which will only increase your chances of them wanting to connect with you"

Oooohkay.....

Then I was chatting with Maria the other day about weeding through my "friends" on FB and deleting anyone I wouldn't "say hi to" at Target.

And today, coincidentally.... through Facebook... Beckie T's status today:  Quality vs. Quantity.

I've been pondering friendships.  Lately I've been telling myself what Jane said sometime last year "I don't need anymore friends."    I find myself wasting time on Facebook... reading about people I really don't care about or learning things about them that I don't need or want to know (Like... who is on their 3rd cup of coffee today... or who is "just chillin" or good god who has fed their horses in FarmVille).   This summer is halfway over... HALF WAY OVER!  Actually, MORE than half way over.  And I feel like I have barely had time to cultivate my friendships with my truly honest to goodness bestest friends.  And yet, I feel the need to "connect" with all these friends.

I find myself cramming so much into every day.  I had looked forward to summer, thinking that it would be relaxing and fun.  And I find myself stressing out because I haven't met up with so and so or this person or that friend or seen this person in 4 months.  And I seriously was just thinking today that I should set aside a "friend a day" to meet up with to "keep connected" with all these friendships.

WHAAA??

Friendships are so hard.  I mean, the really GOOD, really TRUE friendships are not hard.  They just go.  They are void of most drama, they are always there for you, they are committed, dependable and true.  But its the "collection" of friends... the almost best-friends... the old friends.... the acquaintances... that are so hard to keep up with.  You want them around, but to what level?  To what extent?  At what loss to your true call-you-when-you've-hit-rock-bottom-friends?  Do you spread yourself thin and give a little time to everyone or some good quality time to a handful?

I did a little google search and turns out its not just me thinking this... thinking that "collecting friends" is becoming such an issue.

I loved this article on Blissfully Domestic:

A few years ago, I found myself grumbling about the absence of friends in my life. I mean everyone I knew had an entire entourage of friends who sent them emails, called on the phone, sent text messages, etc. You name it, they did it.

 And it didn’t help that every where I turned (conferences, seminars, talk shows, magazines, etc.) everyone was talking about all of their friends. I heard endless talk centered on befriending persons outside your “normal parameters.” Stretch long and far, they’d say—or some other quirky variation of the phrase—in hopes of getting you to transcend your normal friending process.

 And so, you dig deep, you stretch long and you befriend others unlike yourself and it’s refreshing—wonderful even. But then you find that having all the friends you can stand isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You learn that some of these people aren’t even friends; they’re coat tail riders, saboteurs, spectators and even suffocaters.

 In the end, you realize it’s quality, not quantity, that we should consider when choosing who we befriend. I learned that real friends are priceless. They uplift, accept and correct when necessary. They laugh or scoff at our stupid jokes and listen as we rant about the sweet nothings of life. But above all they love us and they show it.

 If you’re hanging onto a friend who’s really not, know this: it’s hard to soar to greater heights with dead weight strapped to your leg.

 Selena, is the Editor of Blissfully You. She is a gifted poet, orator and has for the 11th straight year been voted the “prettiest-funnest-bestest-biscuit-making-Mommy-in-the-whole-wide-world.” She chronicles her passion to empower others without apology and compromise on her blog, Speak2It.

And this article on Crib Social:

Ever since the emergence of social networks such as facebook, twitter etc the number of "friends" that an average person has gone dramatically up. And yet people are spending more time online rather than really socializing with their friend.

Are these people really your friends? Sometimes people have friends on social network that they barely even know. I am perfectly fine with connecting with more people online, but calling it friends is somewhat stretching it. Have as many connections as you want, but make sure that you have some real friends as well who you can count on. 

The importance of great friends. You must have few friends that you can truely connect with and rely on. These would be the trustworthy people you have known for a long time. These friends will be there for you in tough times. They will do you favors without expecting anything in back. They should be able to make laugh and cheer you up. And no matter how famouse or rich a person is, everybody needs few such friends. Even if you have one such friend, its better than having 1000 friends who you can't even rely on. 

There will always be few really good friends. The reason we can't have tons of great close friends is because it takes time and effort to maintain a true friendship. The bonds are only strong when you see, share or talk with people regularly. Each person has limited amount of time and you can only devote it to certain number of friends. There is a limit to how many people you can see, share or talk with. After that if you the increase the quantity, the qaulity will certainly go down. 

How to make great friends. Like I mentioned earlier a great friend is someone you can rely on and can be open with. The only way to do that is devoting time and effort into each other's lives. You should go see your friends at least once a week or so. Have a beer or watch movie with them. Don't hesitate in giving or helping friends without expecting anything back. If they are really your good friends they will return you the favor in one way or the other. If you can't see them regularly you should at least check what's going on in their life and share your opinion with them. 

In reality it is very hard to find truely great friends. So if you find some don't take them for granted or lose them.Your life will be much happier with fewer but close friends than hundreds of people that you just barely know.

Some quotes I felt were very true:

Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends. - Truman Capote

As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones. - Laguna Beach

It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.  - Randy K. Milholland

Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances.  - Unknown Wise Person

Anyhow.... this is a lot of rambling. And I am not sure if I really have a point... I'm just venting and pondering and contemplating what is important and what is not.  I mean, I love having a lot of "friends" in my social networking.  Its a great place to share resources, get advice and learn new things. Its a tiny part of why I blog... I love the networking.  But then I find myself feeling like every person I have something little in common with I need to suddenly add them into my schedule/rotation of meeting up and keeping connected.  Its draining.  And I am not saying that I'm not FRIENDS with all these "Friends".... but do I need to really set aside my precious time to make sure to keep connected in real life with them?  And on top of making time for being a wife, mom and keeping up with house (and in a few weeks.... teacher AND student).... I'm not sure I have time to worry about all of that.  


So... that's all I've got.  That's what's on my mind and now my mind mush is now blog mush for you to read.  Friends.  :)  

TFT: Bikes

Recently I've been thinking about getting a bike. Not necessarily to ride long distances or even daily, but for casual evening rides with the boys (also want a bike trailer...).

Now... I know nothing about bikes. The last bike I had was a Murrey that I got in late elementary school (or whenever I was able to ride a 26" bike) and I had it all the way through college until I sold it at a garage sale about 3 years ago for $10. I'm sure it was a $70 bike or so and it lasted, what, 15 years?

So, of course when I think of "getting a bike" I think... Target... WalMart... Cheap. Under $150 or so (and to me that sounds high). However I've been seeig a lot of people on FB and blogs and such talk about buying bikes... And they mention the prices upwards of $500 and more and my flipping jaw drops because uhm... That's almost half my mortgage payment and hello... I could buy a nice new lens for Big Kahuna.

So, I wondered if I'm missing something... What's he deal with bikes... Pricey bikes to be exact. Are they more for daily riding as transportation or for sports/races? Or are cheap bikes for the birds? What's wrong with a $150 Schwinn or hell, a $80 Huffy?

So my questions to you...
Do you have a bike?
How much was it?
How much did it cost?
Do you have a good reason for spending more or less on your bike or do you just prefer top-of-the-line (or prefer a bargain)?
Ready... Set... Go!
Sent from my iPhone

TFT: Dog Food

Oh yeah! Finally, bringin' back Thoughts for Thursday!!

So, dog owners... Give me the scoop on your kibble. What kind of dog food do you feed your pooch? Why? Do you look at the ingredients? Do you go with cheapest or best value? Do you notice less poop to scoop? How much do you feed (please include dog breeds and weights, too)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

TFT: Kids playing guns

Or should I say.... BOYS playing guns.

From the time Porter was little, I was very anti-guns. I didn't see the point in letting my child "pretend" to be violent. It seemed so... vulgar and just not necessary.

I've stuck to my guns (haha... pun intended) and we don't own any toy guns. I don't allow them in my house and I just plain don't care to support that type of play in my own home. However, Porter has friends that DO play guns and DO have guns at their house and Porter, despite not ever playing at home, has picked up the "fun" idea that boys LOVE playing guns... and he LOVES to go "bear hunting" with Donnie. I have to say, its frickin cute to see them tromping through the woods "hunting" bears and building little stick campfires.

But... what about when it goes beyond "playing hunting".... I guess hunting I can see... hunting I can allow. Many of my friends' husbands hunt and my dad hunted and well, it was always something I was exposed to as a child. However, as a "girl" I never really cared to play "hunting".... (I was more of the 'play veterinarian' type LOL!). Anyhow, there have been a few instances where Porter made the comment to "shoot that person" for being wrong etc.... like if someone cut me off on the highway and he asked why I slammed on my brakes. "I'll shoot that car!"

Uh.... no. frickin. way. So of course we have a long talk about how you DO NOT shoot people. It is NOT RIGHT and you would GO TO JAIL. Its enough to make me want to say NO playing guns ever.... no matter if your friend is playing guns while you are stuck playing with cars etc...

I'm just not sure what to do... it seems like such natural obsession for boys... you should see my 1st grade class... boys are building guns out of legos and peg blocks and crackers and snipping them out of paper. Its just so WEIRD how natural an obsession it is. And I hate it.

So... what is your stance on guns... on playing guns, owning toy guns, playing "hunting" etc.... Am I being overprotective and anal, or am I being sensible in not wanting my boys to play this gruesome fantasy game?

Bling Bling Bada Bing

In honor of my 6 year anniversary I've been pondering the topic of rings... diamonds, to be exact. I'll probably totally get ripped on for this post, but inquiring minds just have to know...

Awhile ago I did a TFT on diamonds and if you felt it was okay to change your band or diamond. To revisit, I posted about how I was quite frugal (to most women's standards) in choosing my engagement/wedding band (yes, I chose it... it was something I was going to have forever and I wanted it to be something I loved) and Ryan and I had agreed if we/I wanted to get a larger diamond (solitaire) in the future we would do that.

As I've aged, obviously my style has changed. My frugality, not so much. Anyone close enough to me knows that I'm quite frugal and I despise spending a ton of money on something if I could get it cheaper elsewhere. When we purchased my ring, we were careful to choose a diamond with an excellent cut, color and clarity (although, not large in the carat department). We picked out a Leo Diamond, whatever that means. We wanted "quality" but... so what?!

Looking back, I'm like... what the frick does it matter the cut and clarity? I mean, obviously you don't want a visibly yellow diamond. But... does anyone ever stare at a persons ring and say "OMG that is NOT a D grade diamond!" (or whatever...). Has anyone, other than the jeweler, stared at your diamond with a microscope to see any possible inclusions?

Ok, back on topic.... recently I've been browsing diamonds online, just pondering the idea of a possible upgrade to my solitaire. I love my setting, I just envy a bit larger solitaire in a princess cut. I wanted to get an idea of what a new diamond would cost. However, once I started browsing diamonds and checking out the prices.... my jaw has dropped to the ground. I won't even utter the cost of my engagement ring and wedding band because I'm very, very sure that you'd pee your pants. Maybe prices have inflated in the past 7 years.... but I can't believe the cost of a 1-2 carat princess cut ring. Can. Not. Believe. It. And, knowing that the "average" ring is 1 to 2 carats and the popular style is a princess cut... the range is between $10,000 and $25,000!!! And I can not ever fathom spending that much on a ring. A RING.

I've even... (prepare to shutter) wondered... why the hell not just get a CZ or a Moissanite... it'd be much cheaper and really, who would REALLY know? (I'll also say, I've never really looked at CZ's or Moissanites... so I can't say I've ever compared them with diamonds. Maybe there is a huge difference to the naked eye... but $10-$20,000 worth of difference? Not in my book...)

I know... I'm sure a ton of you are laughing your pants off and thinking... you cheap ass bitch. But... that's just my frugal thinking. And, well, I'll be sticking with my teensy weensy diamond ring, despite my dreams of one day having a larger solitaire. And if you ever see me sporting a large rock... you'll probably be right to assume its fake. HAHA!

Ok, so now that I've put my opinion out there... what is yours? Am I the lone ranger in my thinking?

TFT: Buy and Bail?

The other day I stumbled across a blog (I honestly don't even remember how I got there... one of those "click on a blog and then a blog on their blog and then a blog on that blog) that was talking about their plans to "Buy and Bail" on their house. I wasn't sure what this meant so of course I googled it. Turns out its a recent trend.... people are buying a house (either together if they qualify or in one spouses name ) and then bailing on their current home that is upside down in this market.

Now... I know a LOT of people with their homes on the market. I actually think most of my friends have their houses for sale and I know a number of bloggers who do as well. The market sucks. I feel for them because a decent sale price is not exactly promising. I thank God everyday that we took the offer we got on our old house and sold when we did. Sure, we lost quite a bit of money, had to pay at closing, but I wouldn't trade our new house for anything.

But.... what if we hadn't sold. What if we'd thought we'd hold off for a better offer. What if we were still in our 900sq foot home with 2 kids and 2 dogs? Would I consider this new trend? Ruining one or both of our credit just to get out from under a house we'd outgrown?

I guess in some situations it might make sense... such as if someone is losing their house because they can't afford the mortgage payment. Or if they are reloacting for a job and are unable to sell the old house. I guess I could possibly see taking the Buy and Bail route. But what I was reading on this blog... they just didn't like their old house. They owed too much and it wasn't worth nearly what they owed. So they wanted to buy in on the cheap market and then let their old "unliked" house go back to the bank. Ship their keys back to them.

WHAT? Am I the only one that sees this as nuts? I guess I am not in their shoes and maybe I'd think differently if I didn't love my home. But I can't help but thinking that voluntarily foreclosing on your home, ruining your credit voluntarily, is such an irresponsible thing to do. Not to mention all these "voluntary forecloseures" are not helping the market any... in actuality they are HURTING the market. And does it even matter that is is FRAUD?

So, what do you think? Have you heard of this "Buy and Bail" method before this? Would you ever consider it?

TFT: Oink Oink... To Do or Not To Do

(TFT... aka Thoughts on Thursday... if you've forgotten!!)

So I want to know the scoop... are you or aren't you getting the Swine Flu Vaccine (ok, the H1N1 to be correct... ugh... Swine Flu is just so much... better HAHA!).

When the swine flu outbreaks happened in the spring I immediately freaked out. I sprayed down the kids' desks every day when I came into work and made them use hand sanitizer numerous random times throughout the day.

Then, over the summer, it seemed to die down and wasn't such a big "deal". Probably because kids weren't in school, I supposed.

And then I heard that they had the H1N1 Vaccine coming out and my first thought was "Sign me up!" I'm so paranoid that my kids will get sick and die.

THEN I started to read people's comments online and really turned against it... its too new. It was rushed on the market. What if the side effects of the vaccine outweigh the side effects of getting H1N1? What if there are side effects that they don't know about like, say, everyone who gets the vaccine develops a brain tumor, or some kind of stutter, or grows a curly tail? Is the Swine Flu really THAT big of a deal? I mean, what, 35,000 people a year die of the regular flu and we don't flip out about getting that.

So we had a discussion at work today and I'm still on the line. I heard lots of good points to get it (a co-workers' relative is the president or something of the medical research at Harvard and he said GET IT!), but I also heard lots of negatives too (mainly the points I mentioned above).

Tell me....
Are you getting the vaccine? Will your kids be getting the vaccine?

Why or why not? What are your reasons for or against getting it?

Have you read anything that has convinced you either way?

TFT: Are Diamonds Really FOREVER?

**note: this is a complete take from Wedded Bliss... but I wanted to see what my readers thought.

Your marriage may be forever but is your wedding ring?

When Ryan and I got engaged, on my 21st birthday (yes, we were young!!), we had previously went ring shopping together. At this point, we had just purchased our first home together and I was still a full time college student. I also was not a huge jewelry (ring) wearer, so when picking out my engagement ring I was quite frugal.

I knew I wanted a solitaire, something simple and timeless, but everything seemed so... large and sticking up off my hand. I wasn't used to wearing rings. I decided on a 1/3 carat ring and a wedding band/wrap to go with it. In all, I have a row of 5 diamonds (my solitaire and two on each side) and a diamond wedding band beside it. I think in all my ring is just under a carat.

I was recently told that "my husband should have done better".... well, they were shocked when they heard *I* picked out my ring and I didn't WANT anything larger.

I've never been a huge jewelry/diamond girl. Diamonds aren't this girls best friend, to tell you the truth. I could take or leave expensive jewelry (I'd prefer cheap, yet stylish/trendy jewelry instead... my tastes change too often and I get bored with the same old..)

ANYHOW..... back to my TFT. Upon getting engaged, Ryan and I discussed/agreed that we were ok with upgrading my solitaire for something larger in the future, possibly my first Mother's Day. As our marriage and careers blossomed, and our paycheck could support it, we'd trade in the small 1/3 carat and get something larger. Obviously, my first Mother's Day has come and gone. We had revisited the idea and at that point in our lives I really didn't care what my ring looked like. Did I like the look of the newer, larger styles now? Of course. Did I want to go drop a ton of money on a new diamond just for looks? Not really. The thought crosses my mind sometimes as I notice others' rings that I adore. I wonder if I'll ever feel the "need" or "want" to get a larger ring.... whether it be the entire thing or just the diamond. Will I "want" a new ring style? Would it be "right" to trade in my sacred wedding ring? Or, is it just "a ring"... just "a diamond"?

What are your thoughts? Is it okay to upgrade your wedding ring/diamond?

Rocks and Duds

I got this idea from Baby Cheapskate (I seem to always be ripping them off, don't I?) to ask readers what were the best and worst toys their kids got for Christmas.

Aka... what toys rock and what toys are duds.

I thought I'd extend it to ANY toy... not just Christmas gifts. So... what toys do your kid have that are most played with? What toys totally bombed in the use category?

In our house:

Rocks:

• Cars, trucks, loaders, diggers... anything with wheels. More brownie points if it has a tow hook or trailer or can haul anything.
• Harmonica (who would have thought...)
• Mr. Potato Head
• Step 2 Kitchen
• Puzzles
• Books
• 
  

Duds:

• Lincoln Logs
• Fisher Price Garage
• Little Touch LeapPad
• Little Tikes Cars, Trains and Planes
  

TFT: Phone, Email or Text

This popped in my head the other day on the way to work. I see sooo many people texting lately, and quite a few of my friends text me instead of calling. I have some friends I hear from via email or facebook instead of phone or text. I have some friends I talk to the phone only.

Not being specific to keeping in touch with friends... I'm referring to everyone: Which mode of communication do you prefer: Phone, Text or E-Mail?

Me, I mostly prefer phone or email. Texting takes me way too long as I don't have a fancy keyboard phone. And I think... gosh, by the time I type out all that and wait to get a response and then type back, I could have called and gotten a whole conversation over with in the time it took to answer two questions. And then typically I end up pressing a wrong button and deleting my entire one sentence message that took me 5 minutes to type. But, that's just me.

For business I often prefer email as I work from home and usually don't have peace and quiet until later in the evening. I always cringe when a client calls and I stupidly answer when I know I won't have 5 minutes to quietly talk with them.

Some friends (and most of my family members) I use the phone... I have a few friends I talk to daily, or weekly, and my mom, grandma and sister I chat with on the phone.

I guess if I had to choose, I'd probably say phone.... I love my cell phone and I feel so lost if I don't have it. Second would be email, third texting.

So...what is your preference?

TFT: Wife or Mother... which is harder?

Have you checked out this website: Momversation.com. Super cool and lots of funny bloggers on there. I love it. I thought I'd share the newest Momversation as a Thought for Thursday....

Which role do you find the toughest? Or can you even choose? Do you find yourself neglecting your mate? Or is marriage a walk in the park compared to being a parent?

TFT: Giving used gifts

I found this Q&A on Baby Cheapskate and I thought I'd poll my readers to see where the consensus falls.

The question: Would you/Do you/Have you given used gifts? If no, why not? If yes, does it matter the age of the recipient? Does it matter how close you are to them or is everyone fair game?

My answer: Yes, I do give used gifts.... mostly to my children and nieces and only to people who I know would still appreciate the gift regardless of if it is new or not.

Now, before I go into "why" and state my opinion, I'll be upfront and say that I know many people who don't shop resale or garage sales... either they think its disgusting or they just never think to go hunting for deals or they don't believe in buying used. I am not trying to come off in this post as "You're an idiot if you pay full price" because honestly, its your money. But for me, I try to stretch my dollar, so this is how I shop...

I love to shop at resale shops and garage sales... there are so many great deals to be found. And kids seem to get so bored with toys that it seems ridiculous to me to spend $40 on a toy that they might play with for 10 minutes a few times a week. Plus, you can really get a lot of bang for your buck... as you've seen... my kids have a whole playroom full of toys- and any toys in that room purchased by me were probably bought second hand or garage sale. I can buy more and spend less... I love it! (another word.... there are many of those toys bought new by family/friends for our baby shower, P's birthdays or Christmas, so its not like my kids have never received new toys LOL!)

I rarely, rarely buy my kids brand new toys (same for clothes too... I hardly ever buy kids clothes full price, and I shop a lot at resale shops). If I do, it has to be on sale or a good price or something that I can't find at a resale shop or on Craigslist or something like Playdoh or markers or coloring books. Holidays and birthdays are not off limits either. And they probably won't be for a few more years to come. Once they are older and are more into electronics or items that aren't best bought used, I'll adjust my shopping habits but for now they don't care where the toy came from. This year I got this Melissa and Doug train for Hudson for $2.50, this hippo flashlight for 50cents, a Cars puzzle for $1.00, for P's first Christmas I got him the Drop n Roar Dinosaur for $15 (a steal over the msrp of $40!), and I've seen the popular LeapFrog Learn n Groove Musical Table for as little as $8 at resale shops.

My nieces also received some resale finds for Christmas, but only because I knew my sister and SIL were totally cool with it (and in return, my kids also got some resale toys from them). I got Lia a whole slew of books for under $1 each, Aubri got a Cinderella DVD which cost me $5, Addisen got the Baby Einstein toy bar that cost me $2.25.

I guess, in my mind, it seems silly to buy brand new stuff- especially for kids. They grow so fast, their interests change so quickly and it seems so wasteful when there are so many toys in great condition at great prices! Like I said before, everyone has their own ideas for what is acceptable for gifts... and that's great! I love reading comments where there is a variety in opinion. Maybe you just don't think its kosher to give used gifts, maybe you don't have resale shops in your area, maybe your kids are older and used toys can't be passed off as easily.

So, what is your opinion on giving used gifts?

TFT: Privatizing Blogs

It seems the new thing around Blog-World is privatizing your blog. I think in the past week at least 5 bloggers I read have said they're going private (hmmm... maybe its me? HAHA!). I know some of the reasoning is because of a news story that was about about people stealing/vandalizing family photos and harrassing them.

So, I guess my TFT today is... privatizing blogs... is it all its cracked up to be or is it for the birds? Have you/would you/do you plan to make your blog private/password protected? What are your reasons? If you plan to keep your blog private... what are YOUR reasons?

Also... if a blog is private, can you put it in Google Reader and still read it without having to enter the password EVERY time you want to read a post?

Leave an untainted comment first, and then highlight over the space below to read my thoughts...

I have thought about privatizing my blog quite a few times and the recent hubub about blog stalkers etc did make me think... for a second... about locking mine. But then I thought... look at all these famous people... Heather Armstrong aka Dooce.... Heidi Swapp... Ali Edwards... and I'm sure a zillion more... they put themselves out there (albeit... probably not as much as I do) and they're in the spotlight.

I do take precautions and watermark my photos, although that doesn't protect them from everything. Someone could chop it off in PS, true, true. And I know that if I ever felt that my or my family's safety was at stake I would privatize my blog in a second. However, I guess with being a photographer and having so much contact information available online and to clients I figure... if someone REALLY wanted to find me they would hunt me down regardless of my blog or not.

I guess another thought I have on private blogs is that I tend to lose interest in reading them because I don't want to hassle with remembering someone's password. I have enough passwords to remember! I have considered moving to a blog where I don't use our real first names or talk about exact locations around me but then I thought it'd look silly when I turn it into a blurb book and it has all these "fake" names in there! Anyhow... IMO, to each their own and I totally respect anyones decision to privatize (some of my fav blogs are going private) so please don't take this as a bash to those of you who are!

My side of TFT

I feel better. I was feeling like a bad mom because my kid knows what beer is.

Anyhow... my answers...

Yes, we drink occasionally in front of Porter... as in a beer or margarita here or there. And we'll occasionally have a few drinks after the kids are in bed if we have company over.

Ryan had a beer the other night with dinner and Porter wanted him to sit by him and said "Move your beer over here and sit by me, daddy." It just sounded.... ehhh.

So I was just questioning... eww... do I want my kid to know what beer is? That its an adult drink? But I think I completely agree with your replies.... if they know its an adult drink and if its something that is a part of our life (regardless of how occasional) then be open about it and remove the mystery of it. Good thoughts, bloggers!

TFT on Friday

Just some thoughts today on parenting... wondered how the rest of the world does this.

1) Do you/your spouse/family drink beer or alcoholic beverages in front of your kids? (I'm not talking getting hammered... but just an occasional drink or a beer with dinner/barbecue)

2) Do your kids know beer as "beer" or just a drink?

I might have more thoughts on this... but for now answer me those.