Nail Polish Homicide

I swear.  Three and Four are such shitty ages in my book.  I can handle the tantrumy 2's, but what is it about 3 and 4 that make my kids go haywire and get into stuff?!?!   Just as Porter has outgrown (in the past year) his 3 year streak of mutilating my makeup, tearing up my landscaping and basically wreaking havoc anytime he's left to his own devices for half an hour.... Hudson chimes in.

Naptime. My quite time.  I don't "require" them to sleep but I do demand they give me an hour of peace while they read books or listen to their radio.  Porter is pretty good at this and 99% of the time Hudson falls asleep and naps for a good 2-3 hours.

Today, I let Hudson sleep in my bed.  This has become our ritual on days we are home together- we nap in my room.  Well I had things I wanted to get done so I tucked him into bed and went downstairs.

20 minutes later Porter calls to me "Mom.... Hudson has your nail polish and its all over the walls and your bed!"

GAHHHH!.

I'm not kidding.  FOUR bottles of nail polish.  Dumped over my lamp (lightbulb) and dripping down the base, a puddle on the night stand, a puddle in two different spots on the wood floors, "HUDSON" written on the walls in bright pink, one of my favorite necklaces sitting in a puddle of nail polish, the new comforter I just got (albeit, at a garage sale) has dark burgundy blobs on it, my comfy comfy bamboo sheets have what look like dried blood spots on it.  UGHGHGH.

I kid you not, it looks like a murder scene.   Good Friday.  Hudson might be praying for a resurrection this Sunday as well.....

Thursday

Nothing like hearing from your sitter (in this case, this particular day, my grandma) that not only did one o your children throw up at the indoor play place, but the other child managed to lip the car out of park and nearly take out the neighbors fence.
Just another day in the life of...
Neither of the boys had a nap so they were extra rambunctious and extra whiny this evening. Porter threw a tantrum numerous times about having Kyle over to play (Kyle is 11, and had a friend over so I was preeettty sure they didn't want a 5 year old tagging along).
Ryan had class.
I grilled out our first hot dogs of the season (am I the only person who loooves grilled hot dogs?).
The boys ate outside on their picnic table.
I dreamed of someday having a deck and not having to eat on the driveway.
After dinner it was STILL only 6:15 so we loaded up and went to Wal-Mart for a few random items.
The boys were whooped by the time we got home and bedtime was a breeze!
This weekend is going to be hectic, but I'm trying to look at the positives and enjoy it.
Sent from my iPhone

Rough Morning

This morning started out so rotten.  I actually went to bed at a decent time last night (11pm) and anticipated a pretty smooth morning.  Not so.

5am Hudson wakes up with a bloody nose.  I calm him down and clean him up and decide to lay down with him.  Every 10 minutes or so he whines in panic that his nose is bleeding again.  It did start bleeding a couple times but not too bad.  I'm exhausted at this point and I hear Ryan get up for work.  I get Hudson settled down and attempt to crawl back into my bed for half an hour of solid sleep.  

A couple minutes later Hudson is crying again, only he thinks his tears are blood.  Then he insists on seeing the tears in the mirror so I take him into teh bathroom to confirm there is NO blood.  I look like hell.  He asks to go back to bed.  I lay him down and Ryan tells me to go back to sleep in the guest room.  Its getting late and I need to get up anyway so I get in the shower.  Ryan had taken a half hour shower and the hot hot water was gone, so it was only luke warm.  This made me grumpier.

Then Hudson needs to go potty and of course comes in to bug me despite Ryan being upstairs too... I yell for Ryan and he comes in to get him and we snap at eachother.  Then of course Ryan stands in the bathroom waiting for Hudson, with the door open, so I'm not only taking a luke warm shower but the air is also cold.

After my cool shower, Ryan is at work and I figure I can lay down  and get 15 min of sleep before I absolutely have to get up.  I lay down and then the damn dog starts barking downstairs.  Ryan forgot, yet again, to put the bark collar on Duncan b/c he barks when they are put into the mudroom in the morning.  I go downstairs and put the bark collar on him (not very nicely, I might add) and then huff my way back upstairs. 

I feel like hell and am angry and grumpy that I've been up, and know that I should already be getting ready for work at this point but my head hurts and I'm exhausted and cranky
. 
What a morning.  I hate mornings. 

Bad morning turned sweet

My morning started out crappy. It couldn't possibly continue to be crappy when my boys decide to "camp out" in the hallway on their each towels and roast marshmallows on pencils over a fire of books.

I'm LAAAATE!

What a freaking morning.  I woke up to the boys in bed with me, fighting about who was laying where and who was kicking who.  I rubbed my groggy eyes and flipped up my pillow to read 7:54 on my clock.  I rubbed my eyes again, trying to focus on those numbers and understand what it meant. 

It meant... I"M LATE!!  I am subbing for Mo this week and of COURSE the one time I don't wake up to my alarm is the day I actually have students waiting for me (sidenote:  those of you who don't know me.. I'm always always always late.  But its usually because my kids set me back in the morning, messes etc... or I'm dawdling.  My 'arrival' time to work is somewhat flexible so I don't stress if I'm a few min. late.  HOWEVER... when I sub, obviously I HAVE to be there on time and I have never been late for subbing).  

I hopped out of bed and start RUNNING through the upstairs.  Luckily, Porter had planned out his and Hudson's clothes (love that boy!) and he got himself dressed.  I wiped my face down with a babywipe, attempted to throw the front of my hair back in a barrette and threw some clothes on. I called work and let the secretary know what was going on and had her send the other Lit Coach in to cover for me for a few minutes. 

Downstairs I put H's clothes in his bag, put a coat and shoes on the kids and tossed them into the van.  Grabbed my water, purse and bag and was out the door.  

In 20 minutes. 

Folks, that's record time! Granted, I have no idea if either of my kids have socks or underwear, they didn't brush their teeth this morning and I forgot my own coat (and its like, what, 28* today??) but I managed to drive both kids to their separate childcare locations and make it to work (ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN) and was only 15 minutes late!  

I'm sure my sitters were cracking up because I called them ahead of time and let them know what was going on and said something like "We're going to be flying in like a hot mess and I'm just dropping them off... can't chat!  Sorry!!"  HAHA!

So far, the day is going okay.  Kid had assembly this morning until 9:30 (so that gave me time to compose myself, put on a little makeup from my purse and get ready for the day) and we also have early release today at 2:30 so technically the long part of the day is over. 

WHEW!

Just another Manic Monday

Serious.  Today was literally a day from h-e-double hockey sticks.  UGHHH!

The boys woke up at 6am.  Rise and shine!  "I'm HUNGRY!"  "My belly is growling!"  "I want to go downstaaaaiiiiirs!!

Took them downstairs to put on a movie so I could attempt to fall back asleep on the couch. Not going to happen.  The boys were whining and fighting and crabby and being ridiculous.

I turned the tv off and sent them both back to bed.  I headed back to my own comfy bed as well.

I must have been super tired because I didn't wake up until 11am.  Did I mention I woke to the sound of things being thrown down the stairs?

I asked Porter what they were doing... and if they'd made a mess... and if I was going to be mad when I got downstairs.

He told me yes.  Well, can't say I wasn't warned.

And then he tells me "I made the dining room an ice rink with whipped cream and I was sliding on it!"

Frick.  FrickFrickFrickFrick.

Okay people... now, if you've been a loyal blog reader for awhile now you know that I'm pretty well seasoned when it comes to my kids (mainly Porter in the past) making messes.  And they're usually random, chaotic, what-the-hell messes (like hoarding an entire cake from the fridge, or demolishing my makeup, or shutting down the power in the ice ring, or flooding the bathroom and playing in tile grout powder, or eating an entire package of ice cream sandwiches). You get it... I'm used to this type of stuff.

But... as I slowly and cautiously made my way downstairs I was speechless at the mess that I found.

Hudson standing on my newly upholstered dining room chairs with paint from head to toe... including on my chair cushion.

Shaving cream (which was in the art cabinet) and whipped cream (from the fridge) EVERYWHERE.  A smeared layer covering the floor.  Splattered all over the buffet.  On the table, the table runner, the table legs and all of the dining room chairs.

Water.  Everywhere.  The art tub dumped out and sitting with an inch of water.  Puddles of cream and water on the floor.

The contents of the art cabinet (which is half of our buffet cabinet in the dining room) emptied onto the floor... markers and tissue paper and pipe cleaners and construction paper....  all of this soaked on the dining room floor.

A box of nails from the garage sitting on the table with a rubber mallet nearby.

Three boards from the garage... one covered in shaving cream... one covered in paint.  "Mom!  We painted a picture for you on that board!"

I couldn't even muster the ability to take pictures. I was that ticked.  I could not believe my eyes.

And, despite not taking my Nice-Mommy-Meds for a number of days, I managed NOT to scream or yell or call names or swear.  I calmly made Porter help me clean up the demolition that was my dining room.

Oh, this isn't all of it.

After the majority of the mess was cleaned up I sent the boys up to their rooms so I could mop the dining room floor and attempt to get the shaving cream out of the grooves of the hardwood floor.

I finished up in the dining room and then made my way into the bathroom.... soaked towels on the floor.... paint handprints on the sink and faucet.  In the living room... baskets of laundry had been dumped out.  A box of fruit snacks on the table... now empty.

I headed upstairs to get the boys dressed so we could run to school to pick up fruit I'd bought from Boy Scouts.  Porter waltzes out of the bathroom and announces "Mom, now I don't need to have my hair trimmed!  I did it myself!"

AUGHHHHHHH!  He had hacked the front of his hair off.  UGHHHH.  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  On top of the chaos downstairs he hacks off his hair???

I load the kids in the van and drive to work.  They fall asleep so I leave them in the van.  After picking up the fruit I called in an order to Panera and ran in to pick that up.  While the boys continued to sleep, I ate a yummy Smokehouse Turkey Panini in the car.  Then... off to The Barber Shop to see if Papa could fix Porter's hair.  Thank goodness he was able to somewhat salvage it.

I took the boys to the Dollar Tree to let Porter pick out gifts for family members.  At school we did a Santa Shop and it was all Dollar Store items and kids bought stuff for their family members.  At first I thought it was stupid but then I realized the kids really felt good about buying their loved ones gifts.  So, I let Porter pick out gifts for family members (So, just a forewarning... when you open Porter's gift, know that it is from HIM... I attempted to guide him toward items that were "suitable" LOL!).

Anyhow... then we ran to the post office where Porter shoved a piece of chocolate in his mouth while we were chatting with the lady in line in front of us.  Did I mention I hadn't given him a piece of chocolate?  And that he confessed in front of her that it came from the Dollar Store.... uhm... we didn't buy any chocolate from the Dollar Store.  And THEN the boys continue to fight over who is standing next to me in line... pushing each other and poking at each other.  And THEN Porter says, out of the friggin blue "I'm going to kill myself."

At that point I just totally ignored them.  I had nothign else to say.  Here I was, no shower, no makeup... looking like a scum bag and my kid is eating random chocolate from who knows where, they're pushing each other around and then saying I WANT TO KILL MYSELF?

All I have to say is it has been a day.  Day 1 of Christmas break... off to a greeeaaaat start.

Just like big brother

It appears that Hudson is attempting to follow in Porter's footsteps.  The past 2 days we've had a 2nd floor bathroom flood courtesty of Hudson THROWING cups full of water all around, resulting in about a 1/2 inch of water on the bathroom floor and leaking all the way down to the basement.  That's how I realized he was into the water... Porter and Aubri were playing in the playhouse and said "Hey mom!  It's raining down here!"

Then Hudson got into the laundry room where we keep extra toys.  He knocked down a bucket of building blocks into the cat litter.

And today... I was trying to finish up the kitchen floor and the boys were playing.  Porter went back outside to join Hudson in what I thought was the sandbox.  Porter gasped and said... "Uh oh, Mom.... Hudson got into the grout!"

He's got big shoes to fill, but so far he's doing a darn good job.

Spiraling downward

I am slowly arriving at rock bottom.... maximum overload.... extreme exhaustion.  Its the end of the school year and I really can't complain too much because I don't bring work home and I really don't have a room to pack up (just my little corner..).  But, alas, my to-do list is always never ending and photography has definitely picked up in the past month or two.

I've been putting in over 50 hours a week working (teaching and photography... and that does not include session time on the weekends!), rarely getting to bed before 1am and then getting back up at 6:30am.  The last few days I've been pure exhausted at work (the school work, not photography work).

Today I came home and crashed on the couch.  Ryan came home in a bad mood and pretty much set the mood for the evening.  I was exhausted and cranky (I'm not nice to be around when I'm overly tired.... patience pretty much rides at zero tolerance for me) and he, well, he wasn't picking up on that vibe.  I decided to take the boys to Target and McDonald's to avoid any further bickering with Ryan.  

Then he has the nerve to criticize me for not going to bed at a decent time.  I'm sorry.... I can't just magically add more hours to the day.  I have so much shit on my plate I can barely see straight, let alone keep things straight that needs to get done.  He just doesn't get it.... he goes to work, comes home, helps out with the kids and once they're in bed he parks it on the couch for the evening.  Me... my other job is just beginning at that point.  Sure, I'm on Facebook and I take breaks and browse the internet throughout the evening but for the most part I'm emailing clients, packaging orders, proofing photos, doing bookwork etc etc until midnight/1am.  And then most of the time I make my way upstairs to go to bed and find the kitchen trashed and despise having a messy kitchen for the sitter the next day so I spend 20 minutes cleaning that up.

Ugh.  I'm just so ready for summer.  I'm thinking of getting a sitter for the boys once a week so that I can actually have a "work day" for photography office work (proofing, bookwork, packaging etc).  It would make my life so much easier and I might actually get to head to bed by 10pm if I wished.

On top of all that I'm really wanting to get some Blog Books done... aka uploading my blog to Blurb.com and printing it out into a book (ahhh... more time in front of the computer).  And scrapbooking... I feel like I never have time to scrap.  I'm seriously in need of some girlfriend time, and hoping to fit some in this weekend to scrap.

Then there's my kitchen.... my poor half done kitchen remodel that is going on its 3rd month.  I finally broke down and hired someone to come take the wallpaper down.  It looks ugly now, but I really love not having the dark wallpaper up.  But this is just the beginning of the project... the walls are terrible and need to be mudded and sanded and smoothed out.  And I'm waiting for Ryan to finish rewiring the dining room light and then frame in/drywall the beam so that I can paint.  After that will be counter tops and sink... then tile back splash and finally, a new floor.  I think that's the order.  My goal is to get this done by the end of the summer but at this rate, it won't be done until the end of the year!!

SIGH.  What a whiny post.  I just needed to vent...  I guess I should get back to work... I have 25 DVD slideshows to burn for the kids at school before Tuesday.  And 3 sessions to edit and another sneak peek to put up and another order to place in with my lab and 2 orders to package and get ready to ship.  

What's the big deal

Motherhood... it isn't really a big deal. No. Its a bunch of little irritating deals that make you want to jump off a mother effing bridge.

Working is a love/hate relationship. I love to work... I love my job, my co-workers, my time away from my kids. I hate being gone all day, I hate getting ready in the morning, trying to remember 50 million things as I rush out the door with 2 kids. I hate the guilt, the trying to spread myself thin.... putting effort into work and then turn around and do the same for my kids/family.

This morning was one of those mornings. I felt like I was in one of those game shows... or a reality game or something. The goal: To get to the finish line (work) on time. The catch? Get yourself plus two kids ready, work out, remember lunches, checks for daycare and preschool, feed the kids, let the dog out and combat any challenges, tantrums, messes and fights the kids throw in your way.

Get up.
CHALLENGE #1: Child #1 is up and hungry and wants to play soccer outside. At 6am. In December.
Set child up with beloved Homeward Bound movie and some OJ. Tell him we'll play soccer later.
Work out.
Get in shower.
Begin to put on makeup.
CHALLENGE #2: Child #1 has to poop and is screaming to be wiped.
Wipe butt.
Back to putting on makeup.
Run to basement to find clothes.
Back upstairs.
CHALLENGE #3: Find Child #1 in Child #2's room with a whistle.
Attempt to quietly remove Child #1, close bedroom door. FAIL. Remove whistle from Child #1.
CHALLENGE #4: Child #2 is up and fussy.
CHALLENGE #5: Child #1 is throwing a tantrum because he wants his whistle back and wants to go play soccer outside. In December.
Find truck to entertain Child #2, distract Child #1 from whistle by getting him dressed for preschool.
Oh yeah! Back to getting ready.
Dry hair.
CHALLENGE #6: Child #1 running down hallway, cat meowing.
Call Child #2 over to discuss being nice to animals and relate to friendships and how he'd feel if his friends treated him that way.
Return to drying hair.
CHALLENGE#7: Child #1 using iPhone charger cord as a tow strap on truck.
Tell Child #1 to return cord to nightstand.
Return to drying hair.
CHALLENGE #8: #1 again using iPhone cord as a belt.
Spank Child #1 and put in time out.
Style hair.
CHALLENGE #9: Child #1 sliding down hallway, picking on Child #2.
Firmly, through gritted teeth, tell Child #1 to get back onto wall for time out.
Get dressed.
Grab socks.
Forget about earrings because I can't find any.
Find outfit for Child #2. Find socks. Where did that iPhone go?
Go downstairs.
Change Child #2's diaper.
CHALLENGE #10: Child #1 argues he doesn't need to wear socks.
Lay down the law and put his socks on.
Throw leftovers in lunchboxes for lunch.
Shit, I didn't put a water bottle in the freezer for today.
Ask Child #1 to put on shoes.
CHALLENGE #11: Child #1 complains he can't find them.
They're right by the counter!!!
CHALLENGE #12: Child #1 complains he can't put them on.
Well, I guess you'll stay home by yourself then.
Round up coats for everyone.
Deoderant! Put on deoderant.
Put coat on Child #2.
CHALLENGE #13: Child #1 says he's hungry... didn't have breakfast.
Give him a cup of dry cereal.
CHALLENGE #14: Child #2 now wants cereal too.
Give him a cup of dry cereal.
Take bags and lunches out to truck.
CHALLENGE #15: Child #2 now screaming because I left the house.
Finagle bags and cup of cereal and Child #2 and carry him to truck.
Shit... Child #2 doesn't have shoes on.
Find Child #2's shoes.
Tell Child #1 to get in his seat and get his arm straps on.
Buckle Child #2 into carseat.
Challenge #16: Child #1 still dinking around.
GET IN YOUR GOD DAMNED SEAT AND PUT YOUR FUCKING BUCKLE ON!'
Quickly turn and look to see if neighbors could have heard.

BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEPPPPP

FAIL GAME!!!!

Trying to help, I guess?

"just found a dryer full of dry clothes.... and cups and cups of powder laundry detergent. Thanks, Porter. *sigh*"

Series of Unfortunate Events

I think I should have taken the hint from the start of our weekend and stayed home. Here's the rundown:

• Wednesday night I had a headache so I went to bed early without packing. We had wanted to leave Thursday morning, but from the looks of it we'd spend Thursday morning packing.
  
  
• Sure enough, we did. We managed to get in the truck and start leaving town around noon.
  
  
• I got a phone call from Leslie that they had just broke her water. I desperately wanted to be there for her and to be able to capture the birth of her little one. Ryan gets the Hubby of the Year Award for offering to stay despite me saying "No.... we can just head up north."
  
  
• Since we had the 4-wheelers hooked up to the truck I needed a ride to the hospital. My only option... Dave's old Chevy with a bad engine and no-working windshield wipers. It was a vehicle, though, so I hopped in and booked it to the hospital.
  
  
• I was able to capture Leslie's labor and Ruby's birth and it was an amazing experience! I remember everyone getting teary eyed when Hudson was born and I know why. I for a blip almost forgot to take pictures right after Ruby was born because it was so emotional. I feel SO blessed that Leslie was there for my 2nd baby's birth and I was able to be there for her 2nd's birth. What experiences to treasure!
  
  
• We left town at 7:30pm knowing we had a 3 hour trip ahead of ourselves. I called the campground to let them know we'd be cutting it close. They close at 11pm so I wanted to make sure we'd be able to get in.
  
  
• After another call to them at 10:30 with again, reassurance from them that "someone would be there" we pulled in at 11:04pm to Hideaway Campground and found them closed. There we were, 3 1/2 hours from home with a 1 and 3 year old in the truck and nowhere to sleep.
  
  
• We had to get a motel ($100 UGH)
  
  
• We switched campgrounds the next morning after being treated rudely by Hideaway Campground and luckily our favorite (Sandy Shores woot woot! But, don't use them because we don't want them to be booked the next time we want to camp there HAHA!) had a cancellation and got us in.
  
  
• And then it began raining for the rest of the weekend. UGH! It was nice from about 3pm to midnight on Friday and that's it.
  
  
• We went on the dunes a couple times, which was super fun. Our first trip Ryan went to go up a dune and we didn't see a little valley at the bottom and ended up basically driving into the dune and then up. Ripped a black trip piece off the bumper and scared the shit out of the kids and I.
  
  
• Our neighbors arrived Friday afternoon and we had a great time drinking margaritas and going through a fifth of tequila and pint of triple sec with them over a game of Euchre.
  
  
• Saturday morning went to get breakfast. Realized there was only one restaurant in town which had a line out the door. Mears had only one restaurant and finally went to Hart to find one single restaurant there. At at the Pink Elephant which was yummy.
  
  
• Julie and Jeromy left Saturday... they'd had it with the rain. I don't blame them. We went back on the dunes for a bit and then decided to bail and head home as well. It was nothing but rain rain rain... teaser of blue skies.... rain rain rain.
  
  
• We decided we'd just camp at home since we needed to set up the tent to dry anyhow. We had an awesome bonfire and a nice relaxing evening at home.
  
  
• And then we woke up to MORE RAIN this morning. Seriously I think the rain is following our tent. We haven't used our tent in about 5 years since buying the popup.

So, I'm back home and I feel crazily out of touch with everything. I have a zillion amazing birth photos to edit as well as 2 other sessions to edit, 2 prospective clients to schedule and a few sessions coming up this week. AAACK! And laundry and stuff to unpack and and and.... ugh. It's going to be a busy week.

Saturday: Full of Pictures

Ahhhh Saturday. Well, it started off rough. I could tell from the moment I woke up I was crabby and cranky and if I didn't do something semi-structured with the kids I was going to lose. my. fricking. mind.

Katie and I had planned to meet up at the park with the kids. Sweet.

Woke up.

Heather forgot to leave Addi's carseat.

No big deal... I had Ryan take Hudson's out of the truck although I had wanted to avoid uninstalling/installing/uninstalling/installing one of our seats.

Then Porter found dog shit in the playroom.

Ryan cleaned it up.

Kids were whiny. Toddlers were loud and obnoxious.

Got 2/4 kids dressed.

Sat down in the playroom to dress Hudson.

My ass is wet. As in... I sat in piss. Dog piss, to be exact.

I felt my bloodpressure rise.

Text to Ryan: "Your fucking dog pissed in the fucking playroom and I fucking sat in it."

Removed Ikea rug (which has been peed on at least 6 times) to rinse off with the hose.

Cleaned up carpet in playroom.

Dressed Hudson. Fed Addi.

Got out the door ON TIME, I should note, and decided to go to Toy House to find a book about butterflies. I had bought Aubri and Porter a live butterfly garden (Aubri's for her b-day) and I wanted to get a book to go along with it.

Made it to Toy House. Note: Balloons all over parking lot.

I parked minutes before 10am and noticed multiple cars pull in at the same time.

What is going on?

Discuss Rules In The Store with Porter and Aubri. Make them recite them back to me.

Get P and A out. Manage to get both babies out and carry them both to the store. Wonder how I'm going to put both of them in a cart.

Put both babies in the front of the cart.... one baby for each leg hole.

The store is a madhouse. Turns out its their 30th anniversary "Birthday" and the store is mobbed. Great.

Kids are magnificent in the store. No meltdowns. No lost kids. Well, Porter did wander off for a moment to the ride on toys but I wouldn't call that lost.

Found a butterfly book. Aubri picked out a Fairy Toy she wanted for her b-day.

Met an adult Hudson! Neat! Had lots of gawks and comments from the employees about bringing 4 young children in.

Got all children in car. Toy House excursion: SUCCESS!!

Met Katie and her boys at the park. Super relaxing time, kids played well, ate lunch, had a blast.



These 2 little monkeys cracked me up. I hope they grow up to be buddies like Porter and Donnie are.



The bigger boys....

Made it home and got all 4 kids down for a nap. I took a siesta on the couch after reading a bit of the Multiple Bles8ings book I borrowed from a co-worker.

Heather and Ryan got home (Ry was golfing with co-workers).

YAY! Made it through the hard part of the day!

We decided to rip out the dead/ugly bushes in the front of the house. Ryan loves his truck. Porter was still sleeping after we pulled the first one out. I ran upstairs to wake him up and said "Porter! OH my gosh come look what daddy is doing to my front yard!"

The first thing he notices is "Why is daddy's truck in the yard!?" Not... why is the bush in the middle of the yard and dirt all over the walkway.

He says "What are you DOING Dad!? Oh my gosh!!"

I play along... "Oh my goodness, what is going on! My plants!"

So funny. Porter has the funniest expressions. He then got into ripping out the bushes and wanted to help. Everytime Ry would get the bush out he'd say "That was a great job, dad!"



Our little onlooker...
High Five!!

After the bushes were out and cleaned up we grilled out and the boys played. Hudson got daring! He had been trying, and succeeding, at climbing onto his ride-on toys all afternoon. He decided to get daring and stand up on his car!

I helped Porter draw a road in the driveway, complete with houses for the boys and driveways next to their houses.
Porter had fun pushing Hudson around the "road".
Then we found a caterpillar, which Porter named "Pluto" but he says "I call him Caterpilly"


And the end to our day.... I put up the Hammock Chair I bought for $5 at a garage sale on Friday. I put it under the treehouse and its a perfect spot! Its a little gaudy with the colors, but oh well. It'll be fun to sit and relax and let the boys play this summer!

Barfzilla, the Monkey and the Doctor's Appointment from Hell

Today the boys had their well-baby visits... Porter's 3 year and Hudson's 9 month. Hudson is still sick.... he's been attached to my hip for the past 2 days, super fricking cranky and each diaper change brings on a change of clothes as well as bedding. Not to mention the dryer fuse is blown so I can't really wash laundry today until Ry picks up another fuse at Menards.

Their appointment was inconveniently scheduled for 2pm. That was all they had available so I said, sure.... not imagining I'd have a whiny toddler and a cranky ass baby on my hands all day. Throw in no afternoon nap and we're a barrel of fun over here.

I managed to take a shower after 2 days of not showering (remember... baby attached to hip). I even got my hair dried, styled and makeup on. I even managed to put on cute heels, jeans and a sweater with accessories and felt, well, kinda cute today.

I found a 30% off coupon for Gap so I thought after the doctor's appointment I'd brave the mall with 2 kids who will definitely not be acting themselves. I figured... Hey, let's do it!

Double stroller in the back of the car? Check.
Kids dressed and diaper bag packed? Check.
Paperwork for Porter's preschool to get filled out and signed? Check.
Coupon? Check.
New insurance card? Check.

We were even out the door on time. My friends, this does NOT happen around here that often.

We got to the doctor's and Porter headed to the toys. I sat the bag down and Hudson promptly started spitting... puking up. Just a little bit. Caught it in my hand. Whew! Good save, mom!

I should have known.

We got signed in and I grabbed a few extra paper towels from the bathroom just in case.

HAHAHA! So funny, now that I think about it.

We had barely just sat down and he puked. And he puked. And puked and puked some more. I swear to God it was like 2 bottles coming up. I stood up and just.... stared. It was all down my shirt, down his shirt and pants (note to self... corduroys hold in vomit... when child is sick put in windpants), and all over my jeans and the floor.

Somehow I managed to clean it up... or rub it in or whatever the hell happened. It was a whirlwind of 5 minutes. And would you know, I didn't bring an extra change of clothes for Hudson? I never do... I can't think of a time I've ever needed a change of clothes other maybe when they were newborns. And this was the type of vomit that went through his jean jacket, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt AND onesie.

We got back to the room and were checked over by Brooke (the nurse). I joked that we reeked like vomit but really, was it a joke? No.

Strip them down to diaper/undies and socks.

Sure thing!

Then we waited. And waited. And waited and waited for like 15 minutes. Being trapped in an 8x10 (that might be generous) room with two nearly-naked children one of which is bouncing off the walls from no nap and the other that is making non stop whining-humming-cranking noises (you know, that incessant annoying WHINE!). What fun! What kind of test is this.... are they trying to see what kind of mother you are? How much patience you possess?

Doctor finally arrived and apologized. No problem. I'm never on time so I understand.

We discuss Hudson... everything is a-ok. Due for a shot and a hemoglobin check. Great.

As we're talking we're discussing how Hudson is such a different kid that what Porter is... as Porter is bouncing back and forth from the floor to the bench seat to the examination table. I halfway tell him a few times to pick a spot to sit and stop bouncing around but then I get back in converstation with the doctor about this and that and is he pooping and eating foods and sleeping through the night and still in a rear facing carseat blah blah... and of course Porter's back at the seat shuffle again.

We lay Hudson down to peek in his ears and BAM!! Porter falls off the table and gets wedged inbetween the table and the wall. He starts screaming, Hudson starts screaming, the doctor (who was closest to Porter) yanks him up and tells him "That is why you don't move around on teh tables!" OMG. Let me die right now.

So Porter goes berzerk. He's freaked out that he fell... he's not hurt but scared. The doctor apologized for scolding him, but of course I don't care one bit... he deserved it. I have 2 screaming kids and she begins to try to listen to Porter's heart. He flips out.

Let me come back in a minute after you get them calmed down.

Sounds great!

Both kids are hanging on me, screaming. I'm about ready to pack up my naked children and run out the door. I made another bottle for Hudson... just what I need is more vomit but hey, it shut him up. Calmed Porter down and we proceeded with the appointment.

Anyone care to join me for a margarita tonight?

**********************************************
Porter: 29lbs and 35.75 inches
Everything was normal except she did find he has a slight heart murmur. She said it was nothing to worry about but she wanted to take note of it and keep an eye on it at his next appointment. Pretty normal for his age, and most kids outgrow it.

Hudson: 16lbs 14oz and 28 inches
Everything was normal other than he is falling off the curve for his weight. He hadn't gained much weight since his last appointment so she wants to keep an eye on that and try to get an extra bottle down him each day. However, I think this probably has something to do with the fact that he hasn't eaten in 2 days.

I so so so need a night away.

I am losing my mind with this kid.

Porter.

He is driving me insane.

Three days with both boys alone- one who is way too curious and into everything, one who is sick and whiny- too much for me.

I'm in need of a night to let loose, and I fully intend to do so tonight regardless of the fact that my two kids are still going to be home.

This past weekend I was tired. Laid the boys down for a nap and I decided to lay down as well. I woke up two hours later, walked by Porter's room and noticed he wasn't in bed. I feared for the worst. And I had every right to. I crept downstairs... quiet. I smelled the strong smell of 409 carpet cleaner and cucumber. Why? WHY? I peek into the living room to find Porter standing by the fireplace, cutting up a cucumber (a full cucumber) into little minced pieces with his kid scissors. And I find an emptied can of 409 carpet cleaner in the corner behind the Christmas tree (and my wood floor, carpet and P's winter hat soaked in cleaning foam). GAHHH!

And yesterday I walk into the bathroom to find Porter standing on the sink, covered in baby powder, the bathroom covered in baby powder.

And today I baked cookies. And P comes upstairs (I was getting ready after taking a shower) and his face and shirt are covered in chocolate. I'll give you one guess.

And THEN AGAIN.... I go downstairs to wash his shirt, come back up and find him in the bathroom again covered in baby powder.

Stress. Stress is filling my body.

I walk into my office (newly rearranged, I should mention!) and sit down to blog/vent. I glance at the wall and notice HUGE scribbles of blue marker next to my computer.

Ry's dad was supposed to keep the boys overnight tonight but he's sick with bronchitis and strep (sounds like fun!), so they're going to be home tonight while we try to have a relaxing evening with friends. I have already warned Ry that he's on D.D. (Daddy Duty, that is). I'm having myself a good time and going to try to forget the daily grind that will follow tomorrow.

Shredder

Porter is frustrating me. The kid keeps tearing up his books... as in peeling the covers off or ripping pages. This is a new behavior... he's never ever ripped books other than on accident. We've always had his thin paperback books out for him to access- even as a10/11 month old. And he's always treated his books nicely from the time he became interested in books/reading (around 11 months old).

Why now? Why at 2.5, when he's obviously old enough to understand you DON'T rip up your books, would he start destroying them?

Kids confuse me.

Skunked....

Wasn't there a blogger I was reading about not too long ago whose dog got sprayed with a skunk?

I think Zoey got sprayed. Every so often we get the smell of skunk around here... the joys of living near nature. Well, last night it was pretty strong and Ryan had just brought Zoey in from getting out of our dog kennel. I immediately told him to put her in the garage in case it WAS her (this blogger I read about... their house was reeking weeks after the dog graced the house for just seconds!).

Well, its morning and it STILL has not gone away. I just peeked my head into the garage and the garage smells pretty bad. I smelled out the back door to the driveway... not so bad smelling.

SHIT! I don't have time for this!

So what do we do with dog that may or may not have been sprayed with skunk?

*****************
UPDATE:

I found a dog groomer that de-skunks dogs. Hallelujah! Ryan has class tonight and I just don't have time to deal with a smelly dog, two kids and a house that needs to be cleaned. Not to mention the darn dog barks when she's tied up outside... and she keeps getting out of our fenced in dog area (which is how she got herself in this situation in the first place!). GRR! So, $35 (UGHGUHG!) later we'll HOPEFULLY have a more pleasant smelling dog. If not, they can keep her.

This is one for chapters...

CHAPTER 1: Getting Boo'ed
When we came downstairs this morning we found a bag on our front doorstep. Porter was so excited and was saying "Someone BOO'ed me! I got Boo'ed!" Of course all day he kept asking for candy.... yay. LOL!



CHAPTER 2: Setting the stage with pumpkins
We put our pumpkins out on our front walk today. (Thank you, Dave, for buying them for us yesterday!) I am going for this kind of look, but I think I'll need to pick up more smaller, squattier pumpkins and stack some along the walk to achieve something similar to that picture.


CHAPTER 3: My boys. My sweet, sweet boys
After a not-so-hot session yesterday (I hate sessions that don't go so well... they're bound to happen now and then but I seriously hate how it crushes my ambition!) I decided to bust out the camera and take a few shots of my kiddos. Hudson was in a great mood so I called Porter up to join him. P threw a fit for about 10 minutes because he wanted to keep playing in the basement. By the time I got him upstairs and stopped his tantrum, Hudson was whiny and done with being my little model. Go figure.









CHAPTER 4: Wine tasting
LeeAnn invited me along with a few of her friends to go wine tasting. I'd never been, and I really had no idea what kind of wine I liked. figured it'd be nice to know a few wines I like and keep some on hand. We went to 3 wineries... St. Julian, Cherry Creek and Sandhill Crane Vineyards.

At St. Julian we were allowed 6 samples. I tried a St. J Merlot '05 (YUCK), Concord Wine (pretty good), Blue Heron (ok), Sauterne (too pineapple-y); White Heron (ok) and St. J Riesling '06(so-so). I didn't buy anything here.

At Cherry Creek, I liked all 3 wines I tasted. I tried Summer Breeze, a white wine. And I tried Cranberry Passion, a fruit wine. And I ended up purchasing Rosies Rose' (which also has a cute label!).

Our third stop (which ended up being our last) was the Sandhill Crane Vineyard. They let you sample every wine on their list... they start at the dry and end up at the dessert wines. I have found I don't like dry wines. I like a few of the semi-dry and I loved 2 of the dessert wines. We tasted over 20 wines at this winery... by the end I was feeling flushed and definitely not wanting to hit up the fourth planned winery! My favorite wines here were the Heriloom Apple, Blushing Crane, CraneBerry and Raspberry. Of course after tasting the CraneBerry, I realized it was $30/bottle and I really hadn't planned to spend anything at all.

I want to go back for a couples date-night and taste just the wines I gave a thumbs up to and maybe pick up a few bottles of the CraneBerry for Thanksgiving to eat with cheesecake. I seriously have no idea anything about wines... Michelle, maybe you can give some suggestions on kinds that might be up my alley?



CHAPTER 5: More crazy Porter tales
Ryan called me while I was out and said.... "Its a good thing you bought that Flip Video. I used it today. And if I used it, you know I have a good story for you..." Oh sheesh..... Well, turns out I *thought* I had put Porter down for a nap before leaving. Ryan went to get Hudson when he woke from his nap and heard Porter in the guest room. He had drawn all over himself with blue permanant marker. Ry got it on video... Porter kept saying "Because I just had to..."

CHAPTER 6: And now joining us at the big table is...
Hudson is getting to be such a big boy... especially seeing him next to Addisen, who was the same size as him at birth. Its amazing how fast they grow in just a few short months. Hudson was having a rare cranky day- not sure if it is teething or what, but he wanted to be held way too much today. I managed to occupy him while I made dinner, but of course when it was time to eat he wanted to be held. So, I got out Porter's old booster chair and let Hudson sit in it at the dinner table with us. He did great! I put a blanket in the sides beside him so he didn't slide to either side. He loved sitting across from Porter- he was entranced by him!

CHAPTER 7: Blog World Meets Real World 2009
I've begun organizing the BWMRW 2009 trip. I am so excited for another girls weekend getaway! Now if only my money tree would grow...