I'm back, and I have a little "questionnaire" for you all. Lately we've been getting ready for some big new changes in our house... Porter is moving to a new big boy bed soon, and eventually we need to begin potty training. I dread both of these transitions with the whole of my humongous body, but embrace them we must.
So, with thinking about these stages my little man is going to go through, as well as the arrival of a new little guy who will in turn have lots of milestones and transitions to go through... I began wondering at what ages he will go through these transitions as compared to Porter. And, by this I mean transitions/milestones that aren't "child development" related (ie... sitting, crawling, walking). I mean "parent involved" transitions. Such as.. cutting out the bottle, potty training, moving to a big bed etc.
Now, I do NOT want this to become a hot topic debate... I'm just interested in everyone's opinions/views on when they thing these things should be transitioned to/from. I think it'd be neat to get a ton of answers and see what the "median" age is for each of these things.
In your response, if your "ideal age" for these things differed with your kids please tell why (did you breastfeed for a shorter time than you think is "ideal" or did you keep your kids in a crib for longer than you think is necessary etc...).
What is your "ideal age" to "cut out/take away" these things:
- Bottle
- Pacifier
- Breastfeeding
- Sippy cup
- Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent (more than 50% of the time, let's say)
- Baths in those little baby tubs
- Highchair (moving to a booster seat)
- Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep
- Using/wearing bibs at meals
- Solid foods
- Bedtime
- Watching TV
- Pierce ears (for girls)
- Using a pillow
- Potty training
- Toddler/big kid bed
- Staying the night at a relatives
- Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate")
- Staying the night with a friend
- Chewing gum
- Have a tv in their room
- Have a phone in their room
- Use the computer (let's say... playing games)
- Using "play" makeup
- Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.)
See, personally I don't think there is an "ideal" age for each thing, I think it's dependent on each individual child.
ReplyDeleteA couple months ago we started talking to Morgan about potty training but he really didn't show any interest so we just left it. Then the minute he turned 28 months, he was ALL about it. He asks to go all the time etc.
Same thing with the big bed - we held off until he showed a big interest in it and that wasn't until 26-27 months. This made the transition SO smooth - he has yet to get out of it at nap or bedtime, just goes right to sleep.
I think you end up banging your head on the wall by doing it when they aren't ready for it. As parents we feel such pressure that a kid has to potty train at this age, move to a big bed at this age etc. You hear of other peoples kids doing things and you think oh geez, I have to get on that when really, alot of the time it's just not good timing.
I just think you just have to wait until the time feels right or it's more frustrating for everyone than anything.
Kim
PS Morgan was done with bottles at 15 months but will be wearing a bib until the mess dies down!!
Interesting question...it made me think. Some of these I haven't dealt with yet, so they're on-the-fly decisions without my husband's input! :)
ReplyDelete===================
What is your "ideal age" to "cut out/take away" these things:
===================
* Bottle - 1 year (we did)
* Pacifier - 1 year (didn't use one)
* Breastfeeding - 1 year (stopped at 9 months)
* Sippy cup - 4 years (who needs the mess?)
* Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent (more than 50% of the time, let's say) - 2 months (didn't co-cleep at all)
* Baths in those little baby tubs - as long as they fit (Ayla still uses hers at 19 mos)
* Highchair - Whenever they are big enough to reach the table from a regular chair (we started w/a booster seat with a tray at 6 mo. and have always used that)
* Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep - 1 year (we still use a "rain" CD for Ayla and don't intend to stop anytime soon).
* Using/wearing bibs at meals - 2 years (I haven't really thought about this one...)
===================
What is your "ideal age" to "begin/allow/transition to" these things:
===================
* Solid foods - 6 months (spoonfeeding sucks...hold off as long as possible)
* Bedtime - ? Don't they always have a bedtime?
* Watching TV - hold off as long as possible, or at least limit tv watching. We use videos as a special treat once or twice a week or when I'm not feeling up to playing and need her to remain occupied.
* Pierce ears (for girls) - 5 years
* Using a pillow - whenever you transition them to a big bed.
* Potty training - 2 years (or if they're ready before then)
* Toddler/big kid bed - depends on your needs for a crib for another baby I think. My SIL kept her older son in a crib until he was 3 because he stayed put in it. But he could probably have handled a big bed earlier than that.
* Staying the night at a relatives
- as long as they're weaned and a relative wants them, anytime! :)
* Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate") - 3 years I guess?
* Staying the night with a friend - 5 years maybe?
* Chewing gum - no idea...my 3 year old nephew loves it though.
* Have a tv in their room - never.
* Have a phone in their room - never.
* Use the computer (let's say... playing games) - by themselves? 4 years I guess?
* Using "play" makeup - whenever.
* Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.) - 5 years.
Kim (ok, even though I emailed you, I'm going to attempt to begin responding to comments in my comments... we'll see how long that lasts LOL!)
ReplyDeleteI agree, yeah, some things the child has to be ready for it (ie... you can't just hand a newborn a regular cup to drink from) but I guess I was just curious as to what people felt was the "average" or "ideal" age to end/begin some of these things. Like with ear piercing... some people might think... when my daughter is 13 she can have her ears pierced... but some people go out and pierce newborns ears. And with things like listening to music at bedtime... that really has no relation to the childs age.
Things like the bed and potty and all that, yeah, a lot has to do with the child and their readiness (oh lord... I'll mention, I do NOT think P is ready for a big bed yet lord help me!!!), but there is some parental involvement that contributes as well. I know my mom started potty training us at a year old, and even though we weren't old enough at ALL to grasp the concept of having to go to the bathroom, she still plugged away (So, I'd like to call that "parent potty training" HAHA! The kid trains the parents to haul them to the toilet every half out. No thanks).
I'm working on my answers... are you posting yours? :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, here's my thoughts:
ReplyDeleteWhat is your "ideal age" to "cut out/take away" these things:
* Bottle - 1 year
* Pacifier - 1 year (I hope we'll be done by then)
* Breastfeeding - 1 year (I did for 3 months or so, hated it)
* Sippy cup - 3 years? (No particular opinion)
* Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent (more than 50% of the time, let's say) - 3 months? (Max slept in his crib from day one, I never wanted to co-sleep)
* Baths in those little baby tubs - 6 months - but I think this one is more of a size and development one (we were WAITING for the day we could get rid of that thing)
* Highchair (moving to a booster seat) - 2 years
* Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep - 1 year (never have done it so not really sure)
* Using/wearing bibs at meals - 2 years
What is your "ideal age" to "begin/allow/transition to" these things:
* Solid foods - 4-6 months
* Bedtime - ASAP (I think the earlier you have a routine down, the better)
* Watching TV - 1-2 years (as long as it is very limited)
* Pierce ears (for girls) - 5 years
* Using a pillow - 2-3 years
* Potty training - 2-3 years
* Toddler/big kid bed - 2-3 years (I also think it depends on if you have another child, etc)
* Staying the night at a relatives - Anytime
* Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate") - Anytime, if I was comfortable with the parents... I mean, when they are old enough to 'play', obviously. :)
* Staying the night with a friend - 5 years
* Chewing gum - NO idea!
* Have a tv in their room - Never (we don't have one in our room, so... I don't think our kids will either)
* Have a phone in their room - Never (although I'm sure our kids will have cell phones at a certain point)
* Use the computer (let's say... playing games) - Anytime
* Using "play" makeup - Anytime
* Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.) - Maybe 3-4 years? (Around here kids start playing hockey as soon as they can stand up, and I'd be fine with that. But it depends so much on who is providing the activity, the sport/hobby it is, etc, so it's really hard to say.)
* Bottle - 1 year
ReplyDelete* Pacifier - I'm not a pacifier person.
* Breastfeeding - I was shooting for six months but it has gone so well I'll probably do it for 1 year. I'm too cheap to quit.
* Sippy cup - No preference
* Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent (more than 50% of the time, let's say) - I'm not interested in co-sleeping.
* Baths in those little baby tubs -Never used one. Our house is too small to store it.
* Highchair (moving to a booster seat) - No preference
* Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep - As long as she likes it (at bedtime); always off during sleep.
* Using/wearing bibs at meals - No preference
What is your "ideal age" to "begin/allow/transition to" these things:
* Solid foods - 6 months (we started at 5)
* Bedtime - ASAP (she's like clockwork and has been since she was six weeks old).
* Watching TV - We're not TV people so it's not on much at home. It's always on at her grandparents' houses though. I don't get too worked up about it unless people are using it as a babysitter. Just not my style.
* Pierce ears (for girls) - No preference. I guess when she shows interest (within reason).
* Using a pillow - After 1 year just because of SIDs. Other than that, No Preference really.
* Potty training - Whenever she shows interest, the sooner the better!
* Toddler/big kid bed - Whenever she shows interest or has a brother/sister on the way that needs her crib.
* Staying the night at a relatives - Anytime
* Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate") - when she's old enough to have friends
* Staying the night with a friend - TBD
* Chewing gum - Oh gosh, I don't know.
* Have a tv in their room - Never
* Have a phone in their room - Never
* Use the computer (let's say... playing games) - Anytime as long as it is supervised.
* Using "play" makeup - Anytime
* Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.) - Anytime - I think organized sports are good for kids.
Wow! Lots of info! How fun!!
ReplyDeleteHere we go:
>Bottle -one year (did with both my kids)
>Pacifier -I'm lax on this one. Both my kids mostly used this for just sleeping and it was an automatic leave it in the crib kind of thing. Both had it untill just over two years, but only to sleep or maybe in the car. I can't stand kids (over say 18 months) walking around with a binky in their mouth all the time. Especially when they're happy and playing... like do they really need that? My kids' were more of like a nighttime lovey thing.
>Breastfeeding -I didn't breastfeed, but if I did I think I would wean them between 6 months to a year. After a year, same as a bottle, I just think they need to be getting most of their nutrients and calories from meals and not in liquid form.
>Sippy cup -This is another iffy one for me. I felt like with my first kid it just kind of hit me one day like (when she was almost three), hey, why is she still using a sippy cup? Convenience, that's why. No mess. So the second time around, I introduced a cup much sooner, and now Sawyer (and since around his second birthday) is used to using a cup at meals. I still give him sippy cups of water to carry around the house, or if we're in the car, but for sit down snacks and meals we use regular cups.
>Co-sleeping -Never did it. My personal opinion is that everyone gets lower quality sleep that way. I just know we couldn't do it. My kids sleep better alone. Bedtime routines and getting the quantity and quality of sleep they need, those are big ones for me, so I'm not going to mess with that.
>Baby baths -as soon as they are sitting well, they can go to the tub or a kitchen sink.
>High chair/booster seat -This is think definitely depends on the child and their messiness. For instance, my kids stopped using bibs super early, but I know four year olds that seriously still need them. We never had a highchair... we had the seat that goes on a regular chair with a tray. And the kids always sat at the table with us. We used the tray until they were keeping the mess mostly contained to that immediate area (meaning not entirely all over the floor/themselves) and then we used the seat up to the table without the tray. Now it's just like a regular booster seat.
>Bedtime music -I think this just depends on the kid too. Savannah *needs* music on, while Sawyer really can't sleep with it. He likes white noise. I don't love the idea of them being dependent on those noises to fall asleep though, just because there's no guarantee they'll always be available, you know? If we have no power, I don't want Savannah to be wide awake all night with no music. So we transitioned to just having a cd play once at bedtime instead of on repeat all night. That way she knows she can sleep either way.
>Already covered the bib
>Solid Foods -If you're talking about solid foods as in baby food, I think the normal 4-6 month recommendation, taking into account the child. Savannah started at 4 months. Sawyer I held off till almost 6 because we already knew he had allergy problems. As far as finger foods, I started introducing those as soon as the basics of baby food were down. Both my kids had crackers and puffs and cheerios well before they were 6 months old. Their meals were a combination of 'table foods' and baby food by the time they were 8months old, and probably all finger foods by a year.
>Bedtime -I think bedtime routines, no matter the time, need to start as soon as a baby is on any type of schedule. To get into the night/day rhythm. Then as they start sleeping through the night, I think they're bedtime should easily naturally graduate to around 7pm. That's in the first year. Both my kids are currently at 7:30, but more often I'm started to let Savannah (at 4.5) stay up till 8.
>Watching TV -I don't really have any thoughts pertaining to age and tv... my kids weren't very interested in it until they were two.
>Ears -I'm not a fan of pierced ears on babies. I like the sound of maybe 8 years old, when they can take some responsibility for it.
>Pillow -I put a small travel pillow in Savannah's bed a few months before she transitioned to a big bed (maybe 18 months). Sawyer I think was much earlier. Basically when they were mobile and pulling up and obviously not going to smother in a pillow in the crib. (12+ months maybe?)
>Big beds -both my kids transitioned right around 20 months. Super easy transitions, straight to twin sized beds. I think that's a personal preference, one of those things where you know your kid. But I do think lots of parents underestimate their kids when it comes to the bed and they might surprise you! (**and just you wait Kim, both my transitions went super smooth and then months later that's when they each started popping out of bed! I hope you haven't spoken too soon!!)
>Staying the night at relatives -um, six weeks! That was our first. I'm all about the overnighters at grammas!!
>Friends house -three years?
>Overnight at friends - Savannah's been asking... not sure if she's ready. I think she'd be fine. Five years sounds good.
>Chewing gum -my kids, 4 years
>TV in their room -not for a looong time. Like when they can buy their own.
>Phone in their room -hmm.... 14 maybe? Haven't thought about that one. With cordless phones I guess it doesn't really matter.
>Computer -not sure about this one. I don't want games to be addicting... I'd much rather them using their imagination or playing board games. We do Disney or Nick Jr online with them once in awhile, but as far as them having their own games and own computer use, it'll probably coincide with progressive grade level or something.
>Play makeup -probably 5ish
>Sports/lessons -when they're interested. I think 3/4 is a good age where they know what they might like and it's about them having fun and not about the parent wanting them to play/learn a certain sport.
**What about a cell phone??
I don't think kids need cell phones. We survived without them and we were able to be where we needed to be when we needed to be there. I might think about one with a 14/15 yr old, but not like to take to school... more like for an afternoon with the mall with friends or something. I feel like we can share mine or something.
*Bottle - 1 year.
ReplyDelete*Pacifier - 2 years? tucker uses it at nap/bedtime and that's it. i hope to get rid of it soon.
*Breastfeeding - 1 year? i only lasted three months. it just wasn't going well at all.
*Sippy cup - 3ish? i'm teaching tucker to use a cup now, but it is nice not to always have a mess!
*Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent - asap! i never planned to have my child sleep in our bed, but it happened and i'm working on reversing it. this is a big deal for me right now.
*Baths in those little baby tubs - as soon as they can sit up.
*Highchair (moving to a booster seat) - ? i moved tucker into a booster seat when i was sick of having the high chair around. i think it was after a year.
*Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep - i don't do this so no preference.
*Using/wearing bibs at meals - i occassional will put one on tucker if we are eating something 'messy' or i don't want his clothes wrecked. no preference.
*Solid foods - 4 to 6 months.
*Bedtime - i shouldn't be giving out advice on this. routines are very, very good. i'm working on ours.
*Watching TV - 1 to 2 years (tucker showed no interest until about 16 months).
*Pierce ears (for girls) - 6? that's how old i was when i got them done.
*Using a pillow - a year? tucker used one at about 10 months.
*Potty training - 2 to 3 years. how did our parents get this done by 18 months? wow.
*Toddler/big kid bed - 18 months?
*Staying the night at a relatives - anytime.
*Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate") - if i was comfortable with the parents - anytime.
*Staying the night with a friend - 5 years.
*Chewing gum - 4 years.
*Have a tv in their room - never.
*Have a phone in their room - we have a cordless so does it matter?
*Use the computer (let's say... playing games) - 3 or 4 years.
*Using "play" makeup - whenever.
*Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.) - as soon as they are interested. i love sports and think they are great for kids.
good post nicole!
What a great post. I believe very strongly in "Attachment Parenting". I think the more you are in tune with your child then you will just naturally know when they are ready to stop nursing, move out of your bed or the crib and etc. Society puts to much pressure on parents and kids to fit in a mold of you must do this at this age and this at that. Every child is different, every family is different. You must do what is best for your family.
ReplyDeleteDitto to Annie's comment, I think it's great to let your kids lead the way.....of course, everything within reasonble boundaries.
ReplyDelete* Bottle-my kids never had bottles but i know the recommendation is 1 year
ReplyDelete* Pacifier-peyton's was gone by 18 months but we are struggling with ava. it will be soon though
* Breastfeeding-sometime before they go off to college :)
* Sippy cup-depends on the child. the boys were done at 2ish
* Co-sleeping/sleeping with parent (more than 50% of the time, let's say-ahhh..still have 1 in the bed 100%
* Baths in those little baby tubs-i never used those...
* Highchair (moving to a booster seat-depends on the baby. usually about 2
* Listening to music at bedtime/during sleep-never! i still do
* Using/wearing bibs at meals-i was never good at this once they were done with baby food
What is your "ideal age" to "begin/allow/transition to" these things:
* Solid foods-6 months
* Bedtime-depends
* Watching TV-i wish i could say never...
* Pierce ears (for girls-we did ava's at 4 months. it was so much easier for us to just take care of them. then when she is ready to care for them herself they will be fuss free.
* Using a pillow-1 year
* Potty training-when they show interest and are able to undo their own clothes
* Toddler/big kid bed-depends on kid
* Staying the night at a relatives-again depends on kid. peyton was 4 the first time.
* Playing at a friends house without you (ie... not a "playdate")-depends on whose house-case by case basis
* Staying the night with a friend-case by case basis. peyton just did this at age 5 but it was at my babysitters house.
* Chewing gum-ewww
* Have a tv in their room-amonte was 10. the boys do not have 1
* Have a phone in their room-hmm. hadn't thought about that. amonte has a cell or just takes the cordless in.
* Use the computer (let's say... playing games- the boys use noodle net...a 3 yr old can do it
* Using "play" makeup-my husband says 20
* Play an organized sport (ie... soccer, basketball, etc.) or take a lesson in a sport/hobby (ie... horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, ice skating lessons etc.)-when they are able to show interest and stay interested..we started sports at 4.