24

24 hours. 

Night and day. 

Fresh beginnings. 

New outlooks. 

I am thankful for the rising sun, bringing a new day to start over fresh again.  

Sunday was rough.  As a matter of fact, the whole weekend was rough.  I have been in a terrible mood lately and this weekend Porter was in a completely ridiculous mood.   The past few days he has done nothing but whine and moan and complain and argue and rage and cry over everything.  Mood swings galore.   The littlest things set him off.  If something isn't his way he either whines or pouts or stomps or yells.  It felt like I was living with a 2 year old Jekyll and Hyde in the body of an 8 year old boy.  I spent my whole weekend breaking up arguments, typically started or instigated by Porter.   I'm going to be honest.  By Sunday, I really didn't like my kids.  At. All.  I was exhausted.  And angry at myself for blowing up at them so much but also angry at them for their attitudes.  I wanted to leave and go find a hotel to stay in for a few nights alone and in silence because I was sure my head couldn't take anymore noise and whining and arguing.   I ended the weekend feeling so defeated. 

Monday came, and when I picked the boys up from school I ran a few errands before picking Amelia up from daycare.  The two boys that got in the van after school were complete opposites of the boys I'd spent the weekend with.   They were kind to each other.  They were talking to each other- without picking and irritating.  I stopped at the gas station and let them pick out a snack since we weren't heading straight home.  The entire way to JoAnn Fabrics they shared snacks, trading Cheez-Its for Bugles.  Porter bartered, "I'll give you 4 Cheez-Its for 2 Bugles!" And they laughed with each other at the trades.  We stopped at JoAnn to pick up my sewing machine and they were fascinated by the monogram sewing machine that was sewing cars and frogs and trains.  Hudson gladly shared the rest of his Bugles with Porter, Porter thanked him in a kind voice.  They shared each others excitement as they watched the machine stitch a car.  I stood and watched them... in awe.  These boys.  AHHHh.  This is how I want to feel about my boys.  Pride.  Joy.  Love.  The lady at the sewing station told me to go ahead and look at fabric while they watched the machine.  I hesitated, thinking... I don't want to miss these moments of kindness and getting along.  Surely they'll start fighting and I wont' be here to break it up.   But, I walked away so proud of them... I couldn't believe what a change it was from the day before.  In 24 hours I went from wanting to run away from them to not wanting to leave their side because I wanted to marvel in their relationship with each other.  

I am thankful for new days, new beginnings, and new outlooks.  24 hours.  

Deep thoughts on "Siblingships"

This afternoon I came across this blog post:  What I love about being a Mama: Sibling Friendships and while I could relate to that euphoric feeling of melting into a puddle at seeing your children truly LOVE each other, it also made me feel really sad.  Sad, you say?  Why?!  *sigh*

Sometimes I feel like the biggest mama failure ever because my kids rarely seem to like each other.

The boys fight ALL. THE. TIME.  And if I were to pinpoint a "culprit" it would be Porter... because I swear to goodness we can get into the car after pickup and I ask how their days were and Hudson starts to excitedly tell me and Porter, rarely ever fails, has to make some snide remark about how stupid that was or that sounds dumb.  I mean, its not ALWAYS Porter, but if I were honest he's the instigator 75% of the time.

It's not just that... its really so much more.  The boys get along with Amelia great.  She's the munchkin little sister that they adore.  Sure, she annoys them but for the most part, they bend over backwards for her... her little antics and needs are charming and adorable.  But with each other?   They can't see past the ends of their noses.  A brother asking for a favor is a huge inconvenience.  They don't talk nice to each other.

Don't get me wrong... there are times that they get along beautifully.  Usually it is when I am fed up with their fighting so I send them both to their separate rooms, only to find they've snuck into Porter's room to quietly play legos together.  And there are times they'll wrestle and joke around, or ask to have sleepovers in Hudson's room (because he has 2 beds), or times that they play Minecraft together and crack each other up.  Oh I relish those times... I stare at them in awe wondering why... WHY can't it be like this all the time?  Why can't they have this beautiful "siblingship" where they adore each other and have each others back all the time?

I don't really know how to change it.  I don't really know what I've done wrong... or what I can do to make it right.  Sometimes I feel like its a crapshoot, this siblingship... that personalities often just clash and make it impossible for them to be "friends" most of the time.  But sometimes I feel like its something I've done, something I've not nurtured, somewhere I've gone wrong.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this... I'd love to know how your children's relationships are.  Are they close in age?  Far apart?  Different genders or the same?  Do they share a room?  Do they have similar personalities?  Has their friendship been close from the beginning or was it a work in progress?   Tell me the scoop, friends.... this mama needs help.

Brotherly bonding

When we were house hunting I was determined to find a 4 bedroom home so that when we had 3 kids they would each have their own room. They do each have their own room and with a 5th bedroom/guest room in the basement we have plenty of rooms for everyone to have their own space.

A few weeks ago we took Hudsons bunk beds apart and Porter asked to have a "sleepover" in H's room. We said yes and they were over the moon excited. This turned into night after night them giggling with excitement when we obliged and let porter room with Hudson. I finally asked them if they wanted to share a room- being porters stuff in, trade the train table for P's desk and make Porters room a "big kid play room". They were all for it.

Ryan was not so thrilled with the idea. My thoughts are that they won't always want to be near each other. They won't always want to share a room and I feel like this could be a good bonding experience for them. And when we put them in bed and from the living room can hear them giggling and telling silly stories, it makes me so happy.

When will they decide they want their own space, I don't know. Could be next week. Or next month. Or 3 years down the road. But for now, I'm going to enjoy hearing their bedtime bonding giggles and smile knowing they're for once choosing to be together.

Pretending

The boys do this utterly adorable, annoying yet so familiar thing when they're watching tv/movies.

"I'm so-and-so"

"I'm the blue guy"

"I'm Scooby Doo!"

They call dibs on characters to "be" them.   To Ryan, this is utterly weird and unfamiliar.  His sister is 10 years older than him, so he practically grew up an only child.   To me, however, I grew up calling dibs on the favored tv character.  My sister and I, as well as my BFF growing up, Maria, did this all the time!  We'd pretend to be certain people in movies.  The Olsen Twins were huge when we were little.  We'd watch their movies and each be one of the characters.  We'd play house and choose people in magazines to "be".  

I thought this was just a girl thing, or something my sister, Maria and I had made up as kids.  But lo and behold, my boys are doing it without prompting.  I don't know where they got the idea from. It started with Wild Kratts, the cartoon.  There's a green guy (Chris) and the blue guy (Martin).  They surprised me one day saying "I"m Chris!"  "I'm Martin!"

They've begun doing it while watching all sorts of shows.  They'll even assign other members of the family to characters in the shows!  

Do your kids do this?   Did you do this as a child?  Or... are the BeVier genes just kind of weird?

Kitty Litter

Aubri and Addi are here today, and let me just say- I'm not sure I'm cut out for 5 kids. I love that they're close in age and play well together but OMG the mess. The chaos. The noise. The MESS. I'm literally following kids around cleaning up mess. It's everywhere.

And the trouble. Addi and Hudson went to the basement to play after lunch. Aubri and Porter followed to call them up for rest time. Not long after I hear laughter and screaming and "OH MY GOD!"-ing. I go downstairs and Porter and Aubri are wide eyed and yelling "THEY PEED AND POOPED IN THE KITTY LITTER!"

Folks. I kid you not. My kid pooped in the kitty litter. And my niece peed in it. What. The. Hell. Rest time is a necessity today. The bigs are on the couch reading their own chapter books. The middles are upstairs probably conspiring how to get out of rest time and Amelia is wandering the playroom looking for small choking hazards.

 Me? I need a margarita.

They are buddies.... or not?

The boys have been getting along SO much better now.  It is hilarious to hear their conversations and the things the come up with.  And even though they have their spats, they seem to be understanding each other a little more (though a lot of it is Hudson being... 3... and a brat...).

The other night I sent them to their rooms to play because I needed quiet while I made dinner.  It had been that kind of day.  They whined they were bored etc etc... so I threw out a few ideas for them to do upstairs, one being make a fort out of Hudson's bunk bed.  So, that's what they did!  They played for quite a bit in it and at bedtime they begged us to let them sleep in there.  Only.... they weren't both sleeping on the beds.  No.  Porter took the bottom bunk, which was all blanketed in with quilts.  And Hudson?  Well, he was sleeping on the floor UNDER the bed, in a sleeping bag, with a bunch of baby blankets he found in a bottom drawer of his dresser.  He promised it was comfortable.   We did let them sleep in there and surprisingly they fell asleep!  It was so cute.

Uh, yeah... don't mind the unfinished wall behind Hudson's bed.  That project is only 3 years in the making.  Poor kid.  And its not like its even that difficult of a project!  Someday.... lol!

Tonight, however, they were at each others throats.  Heather is in CA for Jon's graduation from marine's boot camp, so Addisen is staying the night with us tonight.  She gets along so well with the boys... she is so not a prissy girl and I love that about her (and I so hope that our little girl is not a prissy girl either... though I'm not sure with two rough and tumble brothers she could possibly ever end up being prissy HAHA!).  She keeps right up with the boys and loves playing with them.  They took a bath and then the fighting began over whose room Addi would sleep in.  Porter wanted her to sleep in his room on the floor, and Addi wanted to (though I pretty much think only because she LOVES the rats and they are in Porter's room).  Hudson didn't want to be left out so he wanted to sleep in Poe's room on the floor too but Porter didn't want him to.  So it was quite the drama for a bit.  We let Addi try out the floor with the condition if she got up she'd have to go sleep on the top bunk in Hudson's room.  10 minutes later I was moving her to Hudson's room HAHA!  And then she and Hudson spent the last hour and a half talking and laughing and making all sorts of noise upstairs.  I let them, though... its a special night to have your cousin stay!

Tomorrow morning is sure to be crazy... I have to get Porter to school before 8:15 and then take Addi and Hudson with me to the vet to have Cooper spayed.  Yep... buddy boy gets the ol' snip snip tomorrow!

Monday I start another grad course... something to do with teaching Reading and Writing to English Language Learners.  My plan was to ditch the Master's courses and get an alternative certificate to add onto my certification, but after talking to my advisor I have decided to stay with the Master's but only focus, right now, on getting my required 18 credits (Masters Degree is 36).  Though I technically have only 6 years to finish the required Masters courses, they won't wipe them off my record per se.  I will have to reapply, though not as formally as the first time- basically stating why I've sat out for X amount of semesters.  And if any courses were added/changed to the program I have to complete anything new.  So... that took a big weight off my shoulders. I was worried about losing the credits, or being penalized for not completing in a timely manner.  I so want to focus more on my kids right now, and once I complete my next 4 classes (which I'll need to get my 18 credits to move from provisional to professional license), I'll just take classes as I can.  It will all depend on where I am at that point... I may be part time, I may be full time, I may be staying home, I may not even be in teaching anymore!  I just want to take it one step at a time and slow down and soak up the next few years while my (littlest) kids are home.   The one thing I'm excited about is the Masters in Reading, which is the program I'm doing, will also give me a Reading Specialist endorsement.

Aaaaaand... that's all, folks!

Thursday Thoughts

• I've been reading.  READING!  This summer I set a goal of 5 books by the end of the year.  5 books that were not requirements for grad class.  I'm so happy to have completed 4/5 for my goal!  I have read:
  
  Murderers Daughters
  The Beach Trees (ooh a little mystery)
  The Help (by far my favorite)
  Best Friends Forever (ehh... kind of a slow read)
  I also had started (and got partway through) Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks but found it pretty boring and predictable.  Ehh.  I skimmed the ending and shelfed it. 
  
  and right now I'm just starting I Don't Know How She Does It.  I want to to see the movie so I ordered the book from Amazon and just started it the other day.  It SO reminds me of my life... chaotic working-mom life.  AHHHH!  Except, she's attempting to make the store bought pies appear homemade?  I'd be the nut in the kitchen 'till 4am baking friggin' pies.  I cant' wait to get further into the book and to see the movie!
• I dropped my Master's Class the day it started.  I knew that with the exhaustion of being pregnant in my first trimester I wouldn't be able to get anything done.  Not to mention September and October are CRAZY busy photograpy months and I already had a bazillion sessions scheduled.  So, I've re-registered for another class that starts the end of January.  That will get me my 9 credits to get an extension. 
• We have started puppy training with Cooper at home (and a little refresher/solidifier for Duncan).  He's doing great at recognizing his name and the first little "session" he learned to sit.  The niblets of cheese had a lot to do with it, but he's a smart little guy.  He's starting to walk on his leash a little better rather than treat it like a venomous snake attached to his neck. 
• The other night I was putting the boys to bed and thought "Oh my word... these kids act just like a couple drunk frat boys.  Hudson had to go pee and I walked back by the bathroom and saw him distracted, with a necklace of mine that was on the sink and he was trying to fit it over his head.  I thought to myself OMG i could totally see a drunk person doing that.... "I have to go pee.... OOOH pretty necklace!  I'll try to put it on.  Ooooh its not fitting on my head.  Errrr if I just tilt my head this way...."  HAHAHaH   There are so many spontaneous and wacky things my kids do that I can't do anything but shake my head at.  Little boys are like little drunk frat boys. 

Kids in the Kitchen

Part of the boys' chore (err... "teamwork") responsibility is to put away the clean dishes.  We aren't (or haven't been) super strict on daily jobs but whenever things need to be done and the boys are around, they are expected to help out.   Porter's job is to empty the dishwasher and put them away, while Hudson's part of the job is to put away the silverware.  Uhm... so it's not uncommon for our cabinets and drawers to look a little... ehhhh... discombobulated HAHA!  It cracks me up to open the cabinets to get a cup or a plate and to find a sight like this.  

And you know what cracks me up even more?  Is finding Hotwheels Cars in random places.  I found this van in the fridge one afternoon and by evening I found it in the freezer.  Weird kids.  

Travel Woes

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.  ~Robert Benchley

Oh my was today exhausting.  Let me just say, I'm praying for grace and patience on Thursday on our return trip home. 

I should start out by saying... my kids are not bad travelers.  I had not a fear in my mind of traveling with them alone today and honestly I was really looking forward to it.  I feel like I've really strengthened some of my skills for dealing with the boys and the thought of taking the two of them on a plane (two, at that) alone didn't scare me a bit.  

However. 


I'm really not sure what the deal was, but today was bad.  Just really really bad.  


It could be that the boys didn't fall asleep the night before until nearly 11 (and only then did they cry themselves to sleep listening to jack johnson and other lullabies on my phone). 


Maybe it was that we were up at 5:20am (after a restless night of sleep).


It might have been that I overpacked our carry-on's, anticipating lots of patience to do learning activities. 


My doctor just switched my meds last week so I'm still kind of regulating to a new antidepressant/anxiety med.  I think this was a large part of my problem.


Regardless, today was bad.  I want a do-over.  I KNEW we were in for a long day of traveling... visiting my mom always ends up being a good half day travel at the least.  The closest airport is OAJ (Jacksonville) and it literally has one plane.  So tiny. So there is always a layover in Charlotte.  And Charlotte is notorious for having delays.  Always. 


Our day started out with Porter having to poop and throwing a fit in the men's bathroom because he couldn't poop.  And then me running into the mens' bathroom to haul him off the toilet and into the ladies room... leaving Hudson and our 50 million bags in the hallway outside the bathroom.  GAH!  


And then Porter puked in the bathroom.  UGH. 

We got on our first flight and Porter wouldn't leave the damn window shade alone.  And the boys wouldn't leave the trays alone.  And Hudson was tired and antsy and super sassy and naughty.  They kept kicking (not so much kicking as putting their feet on) the seat in front of us.  

We did survive our first flight and then made our way to get lunch ($7 for a personal pizza at Papa Johns OUCH x's 3!).  The boys whined and whined about carrying their backpacks (I'm totally taking out 3/4 of the crap we packed on our way home) which left me carrying my camera bag (5d mark II + 24=70 + 50mm + camcorder + netbook + chargers = HEAVY) and my purse (with a bottle of water and gum and random stuff in it and a book... a hardcover book.... how completely dilerious was I to think I'd be able to read on the plane?  Completely.) and both of the boys' backpacks and a personal pizza.  


Did I mention the walk from one terminal to the other is So. freaking. far. away?  And Hudson whined the whole way for me to carry him? 


Note to self:  no child is too young to have an umbrella stroller for them to sit in. 
Another note to self:  You bought a rolling luggage cart.... use it next time. 


Our flight from Charlotte to Jacksonville was delayed an hour.  This left us at Charlotte for 3 hours.  Which wouldn't have been too bad if those 3 hours hadn't been filled with whining and me yelling and frustration and grumpiness and restless children.  Children who took their shoes off and threw them and refused to pick up their toys and who climbed over the seats at the airport gates and made weird noises in other travelers ears.  Yes, those were my restless, over-tired children.  With an over-tired, stressed out mama who lost all sight of patience and grace.  

The boys didn't want to sit and wait... they were all over the floor and SO restless because of their lack of sleep (my kids don't wind down... they wind UP).  But they also didn't want to walk around the airport because they were "too tired" to carry their bags.  And I was too grumpy to carry all 50 bazillion pounds of bags.  

Our 2nd flight was quick, thank god.  An hour.  Hudson and I sat on one side of the aisle and Porter sat on the other side with a younger woman.  Hudson crashed even before we got off  the runway.  Such a sweet sight and I know the poor bubba was so so tired.  Porter was great most of the flight.  He listened to Bubble Toes on my ipod (with earbuds) and sang so loud it cracked me up.  But once we landed and he knew we were landing (you know how it takes like another half hour after they announce to put seatbelts on and prepare for landing?) he was antsy and annoying and talking baby talk and sassing me and rawrrring at the lady next to him.  Just acting completely obnoxious and unlike himself (and I know it was because he was tired). 

I had never been so happy to be on land and to see my mom.  


Porter crashed in the car and then when we got to her house we headed right to the beach for an hour or so.  I actually swam in the ocean (I rarely get in oceans or lakes... I am always a bystander).  It was hot and the water felt nice.  Hudson sat on a raft and he and I rode the waves in for quite awhile.  

Porter, however, refused to go into the water.  I guess I shouldn't have let him watch all those shark documentaries and shows on Netflix and Discovery channel?  HAHA!  He's so into all these animal shows and I really enjoy them too so we end up watching the most random things about Super Croc and ancient wild cats and sharks etc.  Oops!

Anyhow, it was great to get here and relax and the beach is gorgeous.  Its hot but it is a different hot than at home.  I could get used to this. 

relaxin' and maxin'

Today we attempted a 3 mile bike ride but ended up needing to be rescued halfway through.  We first set off down the road and I realized my tires were low.  Real low.  So we turned around and pumped up the tires.  They said 50-70psi so I pumped until the bike pump gauge said 50.    We got down the road about 3/4 mile and the chain on Porter's bike fell off.  Greasy hands and a fixed bike later, we continued on our ride.  About another 3/4 mile down the road I noticed a rubbing noise from my bike.  I thought it was maybe the fender but as I continued down the road it was getting louder and I could tell something was rubbing/hitting my brakes.  After inspection I realized my tire was coming out of (off of?) the rim... there was a lip bulging over the rim.  I figured we'd continue the ride since we were literally halfway around our "block", but 2 driveways later it was getting hard to ride... my brakes were getting stuck on the tire.  I looked agian and it was REALLY bulging over and starting to rub the tire badly.  I went to the house to see if they had a tire gauge thingy but no one was home.  I called Ryan and he told me to press a rock or something in the tire nozzle.  I did that and what do you know, I squeezed my tire back into the rim but I let out TOO much air and my tire was now flat.  There was no way I could ride it.  Ryan had to leave work and come rescue us! 

I decided we'd call it quits for bike riding and then we went into town to run a few errands (Rapid Refill and Pet Supplies Plus).  We also went to the library to redeem their Summer Reading Logs (we're doing the Summer Reading Program) and they got prizes and new reading logs.  We also picked out a TON of books.  Funny, I made them library bags, intending to tell them "you can get out as many books as you are able to carry in your bag"... meaning 2 or 3. But I can't stop myself and I end up picking out so many kids books that I have to use their bags to carry them and I end up carrying both bags plus a few extra books!  Looks like Mama needs her own library bag!  

When we got home I whipped up this book tent.  Rope from b-ball hoop to tree, 4 clothespins, 2 sheets, a quilt and some pillows?  Voila!  There was a nice breeze and we laid here and read books for awhile and then fell asleep for a couple hours.  Naptime outside- sweet!  (don't get too jealous... the "getting to sleep" part wasn't so easy.  I had to threaten and growl a few times but finally they fell asleep and I was finally able to get my much-needed rest! haha!)

The light was gorgeous and filtered underneath the tent... maybe I need to try this for a session HAHA!  We had some fun with the camera and I got a few shots I looove!  Perfect for Embrace the Camera!

so, are you ready to embrace the camera?

here's the nitty gritty:

1.  take a picture with you and your kids/spouse/family member/friend/whatever.

2.  blog about that picture and include a link to our blog, or grab our button.

3.  link your blog post up on the link tool below.

4.  visit the other embracers...give each other lots of compliments about how good we look with our greasy hair andsweatpants velour jogging suits on.  cause yah, we need a little boost when it's been days since our last shower.

5.  have fun!

I love these boys.  This summer... this summer has been amazing so far.  I have thoroughly enjoyed my days with them and, even though there are nights I say to Ryan "I'm done... I can't deal anymore today", I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job keeping my wits about me.  Ryan is gone 2 nights a week so in addition to me being home fulltime, there are 2 days a week we don't see him at all.  The boys and I have done so many fun projects and activities this summer I'm really dreading going back to work.  I wish so much I was able to stay home with these monkeys.

n@ked little monkey

I'm not sure if I have a future nudist on my hands or what, but this kid LOVES to be naked.  He most often sleeps naked (both naptime and bedtime) and during the day it isn't uncommon to find him running around the house (or yard!) naked.  Poor UPS guy and neighbors HAHA!  It drives Ryan CRAZY but I say, hey, let him be free.  He's 3.  Who cares?   

Yesterday I picked up a new pair of sandals for him (he had a pair but the one random time Duncan decides to chew he picked his new sandals to chew!) and he wanted to wear them.  Thing is, he didn't have a stitch of clothes on otherwise.  It was hilarious watching him play around the yard in just his sandals HAHA! 

 I keep adding things to our Summer Bucket List (and deleting things that now, in the middle of summer, don't sound too enticing anymore).  We crossed off another yesterday.... refill the sand box.  A truck bed full of sand and we have new "sand dunes" for the trucks to drive on!

And I got a few good shots of the Doodle yesterday.  He's a beast.  The best beast.  He's due for grooming next Friday but I'm contemplating pushing it back another week or two.  I kind of like his hair this length.

Summer Lovin'

When I found out I was having another boy I envisioned Porter and his little brother becoming the best of friends.  I imagined when they were old enough to play together that they'd spend hours entertaining each other and I'd have a little peace and quiet to myself.

KAPOW!

That's the fairytale balloon popping right there, folks.

My boys, oh my, my boys.  They do NOT seem to get along anymore!  It is a 2 way street, though, and they both know how to push each other's buttons.  Porter does things to piss Hudson off and Hudson knows exactly how to be the annoying little brother.  They taunt each other and are constantly screaming and hitting each other.

The other day I let them go outside to play and as I was picking up the house I realized all I'd been hearing outside was screaming and yelling and fighting.  And I realized that that's all I EVER hear from them when they are together.  I never hear laughter coming from my yard.  I never hear them giggling and enjoying each other.  And it made me so sad.

A lot of people tell me "Oh that's just brother's for you... they'll grow out of it" or "That's how they're supposed to be".  Well, that's not how I want my kids, these brothers, to be.

I brought up their behavior in therapy last week and Dot's advice really made sense.  She said that Porter has clearly written Hudson off as "useless" to him and that he "has no use for him."  I mentioned how my sister and I fought a lot as kids and she said that most often sisters will grow back together and rebuild a relationship, but brothers often grow up and move apart and stay out of each others lives if they don't form a close relationship as kids.  This made sense to me.... men aren't necessarily the "relationship builders" in a family... typically its the women (mothers, sisters, daughters) that keep family relationships together.   She said that, much like potty training, I needed to really stay attentive to the boys and help them build their skills for dealing with each other.  And so this is what I've been doing.

As summer started I stressed to the boys that they are FRIENDS and that they need to treat each other as friends.  I told them that until they learned to treat one another as friends they wouldn't be seeing their other friends for playdates.... that the only friend they would have to play with this summer would be each other unless they learned to get along.  I've been literally sitting right by them as they play, guiding and directing their actions and words towards each other.

When we built the cardboard house?  Oh boy... that was a huge fight.  Porter wanted it dark inside and wanted the door shut.  Hudson wanted the door open and to have some light inside.  Fight. Fight. Fight.  Porter locked Hudson out.  Hudson screamed (we've been working on him not reacting to things with a screeching scream and using an inside voice).  I calmed them both down and we brainstormed some ideas.  We decided to put a doorbel on the door and I had to literally model how they should ring the doorbell, how Hudson should knock and say "knock knock", how Porter should say "Who is it?" and how Hudson should wait for Porter to open the door.  And then I praised and praised.

I am so not kidding.  This has been my summer thus far.  Slow and gradual modeling and skill building and teaching and praising and stepping in to help them make better choices for dealing with each other.

At first I felt like it wasn't doing any good.  But the past 2 days I've noticed SO many instances where Porter uses NICE words towards Hudson, asks him things instead of demanding, and Hudson complies and they use manners and I PRAISE them to high heavens for how kind and caring they are to each other.  And they just light up!

Today I am so happy to say they played so well together.  They LAUGHED together!  They were in the gator and driving it into the trees Ryan had chopped down and they were laughing so hard.  I've found them at nap time in the guest room... they sneak in there and read books together.

It is music to my ears to slowly, but surely, begin to hear my boys laugh together.  A sight for sore eyes when I see them being kind and compassionate to each other and playing with each other.

I know there is still so much more skill building to do, that there is going to be regression and days where they don't get along.  But, slowly but surely they are grasping those skills and tools to treat each other in a more loving way.   I'm really excited to go to my next therapy appointment and report the changes I've seen thus far.

we started our day off by making a "house" (aka secret spy house) out of the huge boxes my bike came packaged in.  the boys, as usual, wasted no time fighting and being mad at eachother.  i'm so over it.  i'm basically running a social skills bootcamp so far this summer (more on that later).  my kids rarely get along and i'm determined to change it. 

at 9am i realized it was wednesday... storytime at the library (i had it in my lesson plan book... aka "schedule" for this summer) and so we threw some clothes on and picked up the house and headed to the library.  the boys were great during storytime.  the storyteller was great as well... she read 4 or 5 books i think and inbetween they did a song/movement.  hudson wouldn't participate... he stayed seated in the same spot he listened to the stories even though everyone was walking and jumping around him.  

after storytime they did a little craft (newspaper people... see picture) and then we picked out a ton of books to take home for the week.  i'm hoping to make the library a weekly thing, and hopefully next week get a little more organized and do lunch (picnic) at bucky harris park downtown).  

when we got home, the county road commission had trucks and a loader just down the road by the high school.  the boys wanted to sit out in the yard and watch (even though the loader was just sitting there).  we spread out a blanket and ate lunch in the front yard.  then we took a walk down to see the loader up close.  boys.  so funny the things they love!

after rest time, porter came downstairs (hudson was sleeping) and by this time the road commission was out front of our house cutting branches from the trees across the road.  porter took a chair and his umbrella and sat out in the yard and watched them.   he kept talking to them and then riding his bike and skateboard for them.  he was cracking me up.  he came in a few times and asked me "can i ask them if they need any help?"

while the boys were resting/napping i whipped up some library bags for the boys out of some duck canvas.  when they got up i let them pick out letter stamps to stamp their name, and colors of paint for their bags.  i love that they picked colors that match and i love the mixed up stamp 'fonts'.

we finished up the day with the installation of hudson's bike seat onto my new bike.  he was FREAKED out to ride in it, though (cracks me up... whenever he's scared he makes up the most crazy nonsense rhyming words like "owie bowie mowie!" or "ovva govva!" "eeemo deemo meeemo!"  HAHA!).  i took him for a spin around the yard and then took him out (because my gears were clicking and clanking and i wanted to check it out) and he said "that was kinda fun!"  back to the gears... this bike has 21 gears.  pretty much about 14 gears more than i need.  i have no idea how to do all this gear shifting... i think my last bike had like 7 gears or something and it was pretty darn straightforward.  i think something is out of alignment or something though because certain gear combinations work and others don't.  i think i'm going to take the bike to a bike shop and have them check everything over and "calibrate" it (is that a term you can even use referring to a bike??) to make sure everything is working properly.  although it was delivered here from, i'm assuming the schwinn manufacture, i had to put together some of the bike and who knows what i dinked up. haha!  i might try to take the boys on a spin tomorrow morning but i'm kind of afraid to mess something up if something is out of whack.

Imagination

These boys... oh their imaginations just amuse me sometimes.  They think of things I would never have thought of at their ages.  I love it. 

Porter has always been fascinated with how things work.   I hope that someday he becomes some kind of engineer or something...  he's curious and very bright and is always trying to recreate things he sees.  For the longest time he's been intrigued by pulleys.  He'll point them out whenever he sees them in use.  A few weeks ago he made his own "pulley" (not exactly a pulley but it served the same type of purpose).    He had been experimenting with different ways to get his bucket to the top of the treehouse for a few days and finally figured out the best method.  Tie the jumprope to the steering wheel and crank it! 

Last week, when we were trying to make it through 95* days, I went and picked up a large pool for the boys to use in addition to their little blue pool.  They played outside for quite sometime and I soon found them like this:

TThese were no longer swimming pools.  Oh no.  This is their BOAT!