Bitter and violated... and my day off is tainted.

Ryan woke me up this morning cursing in the bedroom. He was searching frantically for his wallet.

His wallet he said he thinks he left in his car. Unlocked. That is not there anymore.

My passenger door was open when he went out there. Someone was in our car in the middle of the night. Its happened before a few months back- they took a bunch of quarters the last time- quarters that Ryan had just filled his change stack with in the Durango. We're pretty lax about locking things up- we leave our doors unlocked a lot, as well as our cars. We're trusting. I guess we won't be anymore.

I crawl out of bed... its 5:30 mind you... and jump on his computer to check our bank accounts. Two of our debit cards were in his wallet. Nothing was used (as of this morning) off the debit cards. Ryan still acts really perterbed and its running through my mind that I thought he'd kept $50 cash out of his last check. I thought to myself "Crap! He said he kept a little cash out for himself... he said it was $20 but I bet he kept more..." and then he tells me..... "My casino stash was in there." Casino stash... well... he did mention the other day that he had been stashing away some money for a future trip to the casino. I ask how much. $400 he says. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS? He was walking around daily with FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS in his wallet? Ever heard of a sock drawer for stashing extra cash?

So, not only am I so so pissed at whatever asshole scavenged through our vehicles... and I'm really upset that this happened to Ryan (or... us, I guess)... but I'm having a really hard time not being really angry with Ryan about this even though its not fully his fault. I just keep thinking... that $400, which... at the time we never missed b/c he stashed it before depositing his check- no problem if we don't miss the money stash away- but I keep thinking... that money could have been used to pay for groceries I bought last night. Or pay my student loan payment that'll be due this month... or cover a paycheck of mine this summer when I'm home with the boys... or buy a crapload of diapers... or pay the insurance bill once we have Hudson and pay our portion of it. And then I'm a little irritated that just last week he had me take $400 out of my photography account to pay for the Durangos repairs last week.... when he had that extra money in his wallet the whole time.

I'm trying to not point fingers and be mad and angry at the wrong person. Yes, he made a mistake and hopefully he won't be dumb enough to leave his wallet in the car again (he regularly leaves his wallet in the center council of the Durango.... ALL THE TIME) but its not his fault there is a dishonest person who made a bad choice to enter our vehicle and rummage around. I'm just irritated. And ticked and I want to blame someone and since I don't know who stole his wallet I want to put the blame on him for not being more careful with that much cash.

And then who got to spend their morning on the phone with his credit card company canceling his credit card? Me. So, instead of getting caught up on a little sleep this morning I was up at 5:45 making phone calls to cover our ass.

Today Porter and I are going to the Ann Arbor Hands on Museum with Cathy, Lori and the girls and I anticipated the trip costing us about $30 ($16 to get in for both of us, and then lunch...). Now I'm feeling like I shouldn't even go, and that I the flat shoes I bought for Chicago next weekend (even though they were super cheap at Payless) should go back and I shouldn't have spent so much on groceries last night and bought that Slurpee at Meijer on my way out... because we were ROBBED even though I didn't even know that money existed until this morning it still came from our account at some point.

UGH. Sorry for venting. I'm just angry and hurt and mad and frustrated and feeling very violated and betrayed. I hope I can go and just enjoy myself today, but probably not.