Baby Fever, Need to Nurture or just plain nuts?

Let's start out by saying that the fact that she and she and she and she (and NOW she!) being pregnant does not help. Add that to the fact that my baby is growing up so darn fast. And that oh a month or so ago I thought that somehow my 10-year birth control had failed and before fully confirming it hadn't, I tried to reason with myself that a third child wouldn't be SO bad.

How the hell can one have the baby itch when I STILL HAVE A BABY AT HOME?

Ok, really though, I don't want another baby. Not now. I have a plan and that plan won't be derived from (if I have anything to say about it). Thus far my children have been added to our family on our own terms and that's how I hope it will be for #3. And that won't be for at least 3-4 years.

Although... I do have to say if we could afford a third child right now, its not to say I might not reconsider our "plans."

But.... the thought of this big ol' house and all this room and love (and, well, let's not mention a lack of sanity or patience... that's not important, is it? HAHA!) and the perfectness that our life has evolved into.... it is kind of fun to think of what the next little personality that joins our family will be like. I love seeing how different Porter and Hudson are... its so fun to get to "know" Hudson as he turns into a little person. Its fun imagining what our third baby will be like. What our family will be like.

If I could just have a 6 month old pop into our life when Hudson is about 2, that would be great :) LOL!

So yesterday I officially turned into one of "those" mom's. One of those mom's I've always been like GET A GRIP... WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE?

Let me start back at the beginning.... when we first moved in, my mom was over and she and Porter saw a black cat lurking around her car. My mom, joking with him, said "Oh look, Porter... there's the kitty I brought over for you!" Why... I don't know. It was funny, though, because Porter really thought it had hopped right out of her car and was in our yard. We've seen the cat about 3 times since we've moved in.

Yesterday me, my mom, Porter and Ryan were talking in the living room and somehow "Porter's" black cat came up. Porter started asking "Where is my black cat? I want him! Where did he go?" Ryan (joking) said "The wood chipper ate him." (I think that derived from back in high school one of his loser friends threw a cat into a wood chipper?!?). Mind you, Porter has no idea what a wood chipper is, but he went hysterical.... "My black kitty! He got ATE? I want my black kitty back!" And he ran to me, bawling and upset and his bottom lip sticking out and was so heartbroken over "his" cat.

I sat on the couch, his head buried in my neck, rubbing his back. Picture me, eyes wide, mouthing to Ryan.... "I think we need to go get a black cat!!!!"

OH MY GOD.

And can you believe that I spent pert of my evening last night browsing cats and dogs on Petfinder.org?

I don't even LIKE cats. I was actually kind of happy when our last cat, Bailey (who peed in the house all the time) got hit by a car.

Porter and Ryan went outside to help our neighbor chop wood from a tree he just had taken down. Porter mostly went outside to look in the bushes for his black cat. In which he kept getting upset over all evening. He even woke up in the middle of the night crying for his black cat.

What the hell.

Anyhow... I did find a few cute prospects... one a fluffly black and white guy named Jack.

And then I started browsing Golden Retrievers. I know, I know... I already have 2 dogs that I can barely stand because the assholes keep peeing in the playroom.

But... But... but.... I've always wanted a Golden Retriever (you should see the letters I wrote to Santa as a child... EVERY. DAMN. YEAR. a letter to Santa asking for a Golden Retriever and a picture of one sticking out of a present).

Back to the story... After realizing Zoey probably isn't going to fit in with our "child-filled" home anymore, I was thinking that after we find her a good child-free home that we'd consider adding an adult dog (from the shelter or a rescue) to our home. I don't want a puppy. Way too much work and... ugh. I want to KNOW for sure what personality they'll have, that they'll be good with my kids. I found so many adorable, gray muzzled Goldens on the rescue sites last night and its all I can do to not email and snatch one of them up.

For now, though, we're working on re-potty-training Ramsey and Zoey. I'm wondering if, in the new house, they just don't know how to tell us to go outside? And its a little confusing since we normally take them through the mudroom, through the garage and out the side door to the dog kennel. So today I started letting them out every half our through the kitchen back door. And giving them treats when they come in. And saying "good potty!" like you would for a little puppy. This spring we hope to fence in our back yard and hopefully that'll be better for the dogs to have more room to run and not run off and bother our neighbors.

What a confusing state I'm in... I think I'm turning this Baby-Itch into a Need-A-New-Pet-Itch. And that's not good. Not good at all.