Changes

This fall is bringing on a few new changes for our household.

First, Porter is starting preschool.

Second, Hudson is starting daycare.

Both ventures are huge changes for me and I'm incredibly nervous to let the boys go to essentially complete strangers who have no prior relationship with our family. I know they'll be ok, that this experience will be good for both of them, but it still is hard on me. I'm sure much harder on me than the boys at all! LOL!

So today we went to meet both Hudson's daycare and Porter's preschool. Our first stop was Miss Marleen's daycare and I'm soooo relieved that she was able to fit him in part time because my other options seriously scared me. It is a huge weight off my shoulders. Marleen seems amazing, consistent, on top of things, orderly and her day seems full of learning. She basically does preschool stuff/activities/crafts with the kids from Hudson's age and on. They're all involved and pull from the activities what they can at their given age level. She said typically her kids by the age of 2 know their abc's, days of the week, months of the year etc. How awesome is it that Hudson will get to experience her care?

Our next stop was to Porter's preschool to meet his teacher Miss Angela. We are going to be out of town for the open house so I wanted to take him in to see his room and meet his teacher before his first day of school. That boy.... oh would you believe the first words out of his mouth to his teacher were "Mommy slept in the guest room with me last night." AHHHH! Great, now the preschool teacher thinks we have marital problems. I was stunned at what he said and wasn't even able to form the words to tell her my husband is an awful snorer and Porter had a belly ache last night.

I have a lot of working mommy guilt now that Porter is starting school. I didn't think it would hit me like it is, but I'm so sad that I won't be able to take him to school and give him a "have a good day" kiss as he skips off to his class. I won't be there to pick him up and hear all the things he did, fresh in his mind, during the morning on our drive home. I mean, I will kiss him in the morning as I drop him off at LeeAnn's and I'll surely be able to talk to him after I pick him up from work but... its just not the same.

I am taking the morning off of work on his first day of school so I can go and drop him off. I'm sure I'll cry. And he will have field trips throughout the year so I'm going to try to take off work for a couple of those. Its times like this I am kind of thankful that I am not teaching full time... that my job is flexible enough that I can just ask for the morning or day off and its not a huge deal. It will have to suffice as I just won't be able to be there all the time for him.

So, this year is going to be full of big, new adventures. I'm mostly nervous about Porter going to preschool... I think its a control thing- I'm worried that I won't be there if he makes a bad choice or does something naughty. I won't be there to handle it, that he might cuss or hit or something and it will reflect badly on me. That he'll be defiant when it comes to coloring or singing time. I voiced a few of these concerns to his teacher and then of course left his preschool feeling like I completely made him out to be this awful kid. When in reality, he's such a vibrant, smart, curious and amazing little person and I just pray that they can see the wonderful things in him that I see.