More time

Since the holidays I feel like I've been in a never ending grumpy slump.  I feel like I have normal days where I feel great- I'm patient with the kids, I am productive, optimistic and happy.  And then I have days on end where I feel antisocial, grumpy, short of temper, irritable and critical.  I can't really pinpoint what's going on... I feel like I'm having a setback, I'm falling back to old habits and not using skills I've worked so hard at building up.

I promise you the world again

Everything within my hands

All the riches one could dream

they will come from me

I've been decluttering and cleaning and I know, from past experience, that this is a coping mechanism.  I do this when I feel out of control.  It is something I can control and get instant gratification from when I feel like other things are beyond my control.  I can't pinpoint what, though, or what has set me off.

I know part of it has to do with the season.  It's winter.  We don't have any snow so its ugly, dead and grey out.

Cause I need more time

Just a few more months and we'll be fine

So say whats on your mind

Cause I can't figure out just what's inside. 

Business is slow.  Wait, no.  Non-existant.  Which stresses me out.  I refuse to give up, but I can't help but feel defeated at the moment.  We have big plans for this year and I'm uncertain as to how those plans will pan out if my hard work and effort into my business does not pan out.   Ryan is stressed.  I am stressed.

I hope that you could understand

That this is not what I had planned

Please don't worry now

It will turn around

And honestly, our house is cluttered.  Just a month past the holidays and my kid again were over-blessed with toys galore.  Everywhere I look there are piles and stacks and bags and boxes of things that need to go here or there.

I'm failing miserably at managing a daily schedule.  I find I don't have time for the things I NEED to do, and I'm spending time on things that aren't a necessity.  I'm not spreading my time out... its gung ho on one thing and one thing only.  I'm failing at micromanaging.  This stresses me out.

So say alright

Cause I know we can make it if we try

I need more time

Just a few more months and we'll be fine. 

Something I have begun recently is Digital Project Life.  So far, 3 weeks in, I am feeling very accomplished and in control of one area of my life that I am desperate to stay on top of.  In addition to feeling good about 2013, I've been able to catch up with multiple weeks from 2012 within the past 2 to 3 weeks.  Sure, these layouts aren't as great as traditional paper layouts with all the artifacts and dimensional goodies, but they're done and I can print and put them in my albums.  I am hoping I can stay on top of this and try to keep it simple.  My family's memories are so important to me and so important to have printed and in an album.  The kids adore looking at their albums, too.

Cause I need more time

Just a few more months and we'll be fine

So say whats on your mind

Cause I can't figure out just what's inside. 

Here are a few of my pages I've created.   And, if you're interested in Digital Scrapbooking or Digital Project Life, shoot me an email (nic073 a-t- yahoo d-o-t com) and I'd love to fill you in on how it works!